Reader Believes

Chapter 28

            The click of her door opening and shutting again had Rika whirling around, still glaring. Seeing it was Ahisu, she turned back around, her arms crossed over her chest. “Go away,” she muttered, eyes on the back wall. “I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.”

            She could hear the snick of the lock being turned before soft footsteps approached her. Rika didn’t move and did her best to ignore him, hoping he’d take the hint. She wasn’t good company at the moment, and as much as she’d normally enjoy having him nearby, she didn’t want to have to deal with anyone. A moment later and she fought down a yelp as arms appeared in front of her.

            Close enough to cross his arms in front of her, but just barely touching her, Ahisu stood behind Rika. Every second in that position brought more of his body heat out to envelop her, making her cheeks go red. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think, everything coated in the glittering white of shock.

            It took her a few heartbeats to remember to breathe. Rika inhaled deeply, and like it’d been the catalyst, melted through her frozen brain and body allowing everything held temporarily back to come rushing to the front of her mind again. Her breathing caught and the flush of embarrassment was quickly replaced by the paleness of sadness and pain, as the rising tide of her emotions began to burn acidically outwards from her chest.

             It was the same story every time her mother came. The anger at her neglect quickly faded, leaving nothing but the despair that came with the knowledge that her mother barely remembered she was alive most of the time. The view of black clad arms in front of her went wavy as her eyes filled.

            She fought against them, not wanting to show further weakness in front of Ahisu, but as always, her body had different ideas. Tears continued to well up until they spilled over, tracing trails down skin gone nearing the same shade as Ishbak. Her breathing hitched again, and in moments, sobs had her shoulders shaking.

            Rika felt Ahisu stiffen. She tried to calm herself, but only succeeded in making the sobs come faster. His arms tightened slightly, breaking through what remained of her control.

            No one besides Connor ever comforted her, or even tried. No one but Connor had ever held her while she cried. No one but Connor had ever seen her after a visit from their mother. Rika reached up with shaking hands and clutched at the arms encircling her as she continued to cry. She didn’t worry about Ahisu thinking her weak or how she’d face him afterwards. All she craved was the feeling of comfort having him there gave her. As long as he was around, part of her thought that everything would be alright.

            He didn’t pull away, but neither did he make any further moves. Ahisu just stayed still, letting her cry herself out. It was several minutes before Rika’s tears began to slow. Her eyes hurt, her nose was stuffed and raw feeling, her face tingled, and she was having difficulty breathing normally, but still tears fell, though at a much slower pace.

            Rika tried to stop her breath from hiccupping in her lungs, her exhalations coming in short pants, but it only seemed to make her breathing louder. She felt Ahisu’s arms drop away and swallowed, preparing to apologize. But hands grasped her shoulders and spun her around. Cool fingertips tilted her chin up so that she was forced to meet the black eyes staring down at her.

            She tried to look away, but the fingers held her face firmly in place. Rika knew she looked like a hot mess, face tear-stained, eyes puffy, and her nose bright red. Ahisu’s eyes took in the whole of the damage her sadness had caused before nodding slightly.

            Rika was about to ask him what he was thinking when her feet left the floor. She yelped, surprised doing what willpower couldn’t and letting her breathing fall into more normal patterns. At least for a second.

            She could feel her cheeks flare red and her heartbeat speed up, so her pulse pounded in her neck. Ahisu’s arms held her securely along her back and under her knees so that she was cradled against his chest. Her mouth worked but no sound came out, her mind turning into a giant slug, unable to properly process what was happening.

            Ahisu carried her across the room, his steps swift, until he stood beside her bed. Without warning, he released her. Rika gasped as she fell. She bounced a little on her mattress before scrambling to sit up, her eyes locked onto Ahisu.

            He frowned and leaned towards her, using two fingers against her shoulder to push her back against her bed. “Sleep,” he said.

            “Wha-But…I…”

            “Sleep.”

            Rika shook her head, unable to form proper words, her mind caught in another contradictory jumble of emotions. Happiness, pain, sadness, surprise, confusion, and worry rolled together in a mess that she couldn’t untangle. She reached out and clutched the sleeve of his shirt, trying to force herself to speak. “I can’t,” she finally managed to whisper.

            His eyebrows rose slightly, questioningly.

            “I don’t…I…Will you-Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” Rika hated herself for saying something so childish even as the words escaped her mouth. But the thought of being alone, left with nothing but her own mind and feelings that would overwhelm her in seconds, was more than she could bear.

            She almost missed his nod but noticed when he sat down beside her bed, leaving the arm she still held on the mattress beside her. His eyes found hers and he said “Sleep,” again. Like it’d been a spell, Rika felt her eyes slowly drift closed…