How Can You Ease The Pain

Longing Fulfilled

You know that feeling when you just can't stop thinking, or staring or just being in the moment? This was what Zitao was thinking of when he was lying next to Kris. It was something that was filtering through his mind and he was moving along a spectrum of rainbows and daisies. Yeah, it was all cheesy, but cheesiness be damned, Zitao was floating in the river that was Kris. He never experienced all the fluttering and effervescent tinglings that were moving through his system. He'd always been a taker of sorts, taking someone's kiss, their touch, their ass, their dick, whatever he wanted.

But this?

He was ensconced in all things Kris.

He wanted to know the man on a deeper level that could possibly be allowed.

He suspected and rightfully so, that Kris was afraid, afraid of letting anyone into his world.

He had every right to feel that way considering he was nearly taken from this world.

And for that, Zitao was incredibly angry, angry at the so-called best friend for almost robbing him of his future happiness. Zitao concluded that he was being granted something, something life altering and he was willing to wait and sacrifice all just to be in the presence of one Mr. Wu Kris. He couldn't ascertain where these feelings and emotions were coming from, as it was all new to him but he couldn't let it go. He felt truly special that Kris even divulged the little bit that he had, considering what an asshole Zitao had previously been. He would've thrown himself out as well.

What a fucking dick you are, Zitao!!

There were many questions to ask and so many of them would forever remain unanswered.

And Zitao was fine with that.

He wanted a fresh start with the author.

He wanted to be the reason the man would smile again.

The reason the man would laugh and giggle and all things cheesy.

He was true to his statement, "Let me love you."

He wanted to explore new things with Kris, giving the man something he never experienced. Sure, he was older than Zitao, but he was of the mindset that the author was not as experienced as he was. He could feel that when he kissed Kris. It wasn't that he was afraid of the kiss, it seemed that he truly wanted it but under the circumstances, he was rightfully hesitant. Kris seemed pure.

And Zitao loved that!

It's a first of all things for the both of them, Zitao concluded.

The sun had set and the nighttime sky was lit up beautifully with the stars. They were still holding hands and each taking deep breaths, just enjoying the closeness that their entwined hands brought. Both were lost in their own thoughts, but subtly enjoying the quiet atmosphere their bodies next to each other brought. They were both on egg shells, this road never being taken by either man and no one knew who should be the first to take the plunge. Kris knew he was older but again, this sort of thing was all new to him. He had no idea where to begin, what he should even say or should he say anything at all.

His heart pounding in his chest, feeling constrictions as a tightness he never experienced engulfed him, causing him to blush beet red.

Zitao figured that when it came time to make his grandiose confession, he wanted it to be picture perfect. Well, not that there would be anyone in Kris's apartment but them, well, you get the picture (yeah, pun intended). Zitao already implementing a speech in his head about the near future they're about to embark on and his mood needed to be perfect, the place beautiful, of course and absolutely the wonderful man he was enraptured with.