How Can You Ease The Pain

Broken Confessions

Unfortunately, Tao didn't learn much about Kris, simply because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and trying to make some sort of point, whatever the point was, he failed. And he failed miserably.

His night time soon becomes his morning and Tao wakes up feeling extremely worse than he did the days before. His sleeping was rife with unpleasantness, the anxiety of the evening before plaguing him, reminding him of his infinitely stupid behavior and while he wishes the world would open and swallow him whole, he now understands something. There was no satisfaction nor any relief. He was now farther away from his goal of getting to know Mr. Wu. His eyes open wide and the realization of what he caused washes over him like a tsunami and any thoughts of a future paradise with Mr. Wu simply vanishes.

Kris.

Not Mr. Wu.

Tao makes it to the store before his father could yell at him for being late. The customers all greet the skinny man who was just too beautiful to even get close too. Tao wasn't sure, but now the quiet place is turning into a cacophony of words. Tao typically didn't mind the customers and their useless, loud voices, but now, after hearing Kris's voice, almost soothing his heart, he could find it in himself to not mind these damn whiny people. Tao had a different person everyday he would complain about to his dad. His dad would just laugh at him and walk away. He never really takes Tao serious and for that, Tao really wishes there was someone he could confide in. He thinks now that he doesn't have a best friend. Sure, he had people he hung out with, got drunk with and spent some time with, but he had no one for any reassurance or support. He really needed that now. How did it even come to this? Kris was a stranger and how did he let himself fall for the man just like that, like it was some sort of daily routine. How he's stupid enough to even wait outside Kris's door, like he didn't know any better.

His behavior haunts him.

It was frustrating him, too damn much. He had no one to tell.

Tao just kept packing the crates, higher and higher.

Before Tao caused another disaster, his father reemerged, leaving Tao with some unexpected words. "Next time you go Mr. Wu's house," the little man paused at the exit, "you tell me, okay? You make me worry. I tell you the man no come out of his house for reasons. You can't hurt him. He no ready for that."

Tao opened his mouth to say something, potentially clearing up whatever confusion his dad may have had, to explain something. Things weren't clear for Tao and now that his dad mentioned Mr. Wu, Tao was still in a muddled state. He realizes now that his father has some sort of misguided notion that something occurred and Tao's to blame. He's definitely given his father a wrong impression, seemingly dazed and Tao contemplates if he should tell his dad exactly what happened between him and Kris.

But he realizes that he can't...

The way Tao is feeling right now? It's truly unsettling and he's feeling separation anxiety growing between him and Kris. Tao wants to rectify his mistakes and he doesn't know where to begin or how to even approach Kris. He was asked never to return but there's a feeling there in Tao's heart, something very new and most importantly, definitely not unpleasant.

It was pulling on his heart strings, wrapping them, causing excruciating sentiments to flow through him and Tao wasn't sure what his next steps could be.

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Kris was staring out his penthouse window, noticing the sun going down. He couldn't make out the small figures down below, but the one he wanted to see wasn't anywhere. Kris wasn't sure, but he could only assume that the people walking down there could be heading home or perhaps they had somewhere else to be. Those people had a destination. Kris would like to believe that. After his monumental meltdown, Kris would like to believe that he too, had a destination. He was consumed with anger at Tao. He couldn't believe the absolute nerve the pretty man had in speaking that way too him. He was fine with everything, or he'd like to believe that he was fine.