How Can You Ease The Pain

Mind, Body and Soul

Both men fall asleep, huddled against one another, both dreaming independently, but each dreaming of the other. Kris had never really fallen asleep during the day, feeling as such doings were a waste of his time. He could be writing, thinking of a new story, that sort of thing. He slept, there were no dreams, nothing but darkness and sadness invaded his mind. He was brought back to a time of happiness, only to have it obliterated with bloodshed and violent disturbances. He would fight in the sleep that he eventually succumbed too, begrudgingly and woke up feeling more disturbed then when he initially laid down. There was no resolve.

Nothing.

But today?

Today was a day of complete bliss.

Having someone in his bed, well, this was certainly a first. He'd had some trysts over the years, but nothing that led to him giving away his virtue. And this day, he gladly gave it. He held Tao closer, inhaling the young man and just relishing in his presence. Since his attack, this was the first time he was refreshed and not feeling the slightest bit of worry. He wasn't feeling any pressure or any anxiety.

This was just peaceful.

He'd always been a hard-working man, wanting to prove that he could be that successful writer. Not really to impress anyone, but just to prove it to himself. His parents had always been supportive, but encouraging him to at least finish graduate school. Just in case. There hadn't been a "just in case" as Kris had achieved major success his first time out as an author. He continued his success as he just kept writing one bestseller after the other.

Then "that" happened.

IT happened and turned his world completely upside down. He didn't know what to make of anything, blaming himself for not seeing that his best friend suffered with a mental illness. Blaming himself for not telling her sooner that he was gay and didn't care for her the way she so obviously loved him. It was all his fault, he told himself, hence his decision to pay for her treatment. His manager was dead set against such an arrangement but he could not tell the man how he should spend his money. Kris felt that this was something he needed to do.

This sleeping during the day, while it was quite effective, seeing as he had Tao snuggled against him, Kris wasn't really sleeping, nor was he awake. He was in that middle space, between the two time frames. He was loving the warmth the younger man was emitting and he was truly content with his situation. Kris wasn't ready to move. He wanted to stay there with Tao for as long as time would allow. Despite their height being similar, Tao seemed quite small, his hand ghosting over Kris's chest and his cheek pressed firmly to his shoulder. Kris's hand was nearing his lower back, feeling every breath that Tao took. He didn't want the young man to wake, taking the initiative to just stare at the beautiful man who'd come and turned his life completely around. Without much notice, Kris felt hands on his skin, setting him ablaze as Tao's fingers gingerly crossed his stomach. Kris was still out of sorts when it came to his skin on his stomach, the scars a painful reminder of his brutal attack. His eyes cinched shut, as Tao's fingers came alive and pulled him closer.

Kris opened his eyes then, staring down at the beautiful man who was holding him with every ounce of passion he could muster. He was really looking at him, staring past his eyes, into his soul and his eyes were tender, soft, emitting thousands of emotions Kris had no names for. But what he did know was that Tao was looking at him, those emotions were for him. Only him.

He had many questions, so many questions and he was brought back to his present moment with Tao. He loved him. He knew that he did and he conveyed it with his eyes. There were no words needed as the exchange between them was felt. Wholeheartedly.