CHANGE OF RULES

TABLES TURNED

So maybe he was losing his touch... Taehyung thought as he turned aimlessly in the chair, mumbling his lines under his nose.
Because he allowed himself more and more time to indulge in Namjoon's presence. He hung out at his studio, kidnapped him for dinner-dates and probably spent an unreasonable time in their room...
But not like he could help it, not with Namjoon's departure hanging over his head...
'Stop that, it's making me dizzy.' Namjoon complained, stopping Taehyung mid-turn.
'I like to study my lines this way.' Taehyung grinned and Namjoon just shook his head at him with a smile.
'What are you even doing here again?' his hyung asked, pushing his glasses up.
Taehyung decided then, that glasses suited him too much.
'You are the music director so I'm here.'
'...okay.' Namjoon answered after waiting for a better explanation in vain. 'But I'm no director, I'm only supervising.' he corrected with a smile, turning back to his workplace to write something down. 'Did you figure out your character yet?'
'Not completely, something is still missing... Should I try his job out?' Taehyung wondered, tilting his head.
Namjoon snorted in answer. 'Don't work as a stripper Kim Taehyung. Please.'
'I could do private shows.' Taehyung smirked, getting out of chair as he tugged at his hoodie.
'Wow, no!' Namjoon laughed, pushing Taehyung back down into his chair. 'That's even worse.' he grinned at Taehyung as he squeezed his arms, and he could just grin back in answer, heart fluttering traitorously.
He was still so screwed.
'But why aren't you bothering Jin-hyung with that, he is in this too right?'
'Our characters don't interact much so... Thankfully he is not my love interest either.' Taehyung shuddered, because acting or not, that would have been weird.
'And who is it?' Namjoon asked, voice becoming deeper as he hit a more serious tone and Taehyung stopped to marvel at it.
He loved his voice too, and if it starred in many of his fantasies than it was for Taehyung to feel guilty about and for Namjoon to stay oblivious of.
'Why it's a girl for a change.' Taehyung chuckled, already quick to recover. 'You know, that pretty blonde from the graduate class.'
'Yeah, I know her.'
'Well she will be the innocent girl who steals my tainted, stripper heart. Opposites clashing, if you wish.' Taehyung shrugged, paging through his script to avoid looking at Namjoon.
'And what are you missing?' Namjoon asked as he clicked away on his computer.
'The core, the contrast.' Taehyung explained. 'I still don't know what makes him give up his job, his lifestyle, his everything to chase after this girl – who doesn't even love him back until...'
It suddenly seemed extremely personal, seeing how weirdly it fit him, and Taehyung trailed off instead of continuing.
Why?
Could I do this too...?
'Ah, well.' Taehyung chuckled, shrugging it off.
But before either of them could say anything else the door flew open, revealing Jin and Hoseok.
'Am I in trouble?' Taehyung asked immediately. Because this particular duo only ever meant that for him – the two mother-hens of their group.
'Then trouble looks good today.' Jin grinned, patting his own shoulder.
'Hyung!' Hoseok groaned as Namjoon snorted, shaking his head.
'But no.' Jin continued, not in the least bit affected. 'You are not in trouble.'
'We just need you for choreography practices.' Hoseok smiled, looking at Jin as if for confirmation.
Suspicious.
'You and Jin-hyung both?' Taehyung asked, because as far as he could tell Jin had nothing to do with dancing.
'Yes.' Jin smiled a wicked little smile that made Taehyung pout in defiance.
Namjoon raised a brow at Hoseok, who shrugged in answer.
So it was Jin's idea.
Taehyung already didn't like it, but seeing how he brought Hoseok along there was no way out of it.
'Okay.' he chirped, grabbing his stuff. 'Let's go then.'
'Great.'

So he was really losing his touch.
'Well I have this interesting theory, Tae.'
Officially, clearly, irreversibly losing his touch.
'Do you have anything to tell me?'
'No. But I feel attacked here.' Taehyung pouted as Jin grinned at him relentlessly from the other side of a library desk - Hoseok observing the exchange with interest.
'It's about time that you are on the receiving end.' Jin chuckled, so obviously giddy about the situation that Taehyung could not even roll his eyes.
He finally understood why the others hated his questionings so much. Maybe he even deserved it, but not from Jin...
'Oh.' Hoseok raised a brow, catching on. 'Did our cutest actor finally find someone?'
Well at least Yoongi kept his secret till the very end.
'The cutest actor is me, but if I'm correct then it's not just someone either.' Jin said, and he was positively beaming.
'Tae?' Hoseok asked, his wide-eyed curiosity a completely disarming weapon at Jin's disposal.
Not fair at all.
'I've got nothing to say.' Taehyung said in defiance, because he was not going down without a fight. Even if he was sure that Jin was capable of sitting there for days just to make him confess.
'Taehyungie.' Jin sang, but Taehyung just sent him a flat look.
'What is this about? You are clearly hiding something....' Hoseok said, tilting his head and Taehyung could not decide whether to jump out the window or just fess up – either way would put him out of his misery quicker then keeping quiet.
'Okay, fine. Let me get the facts straight, so you just have to nod in answer.' Jin offered, because his partner in crime at least knew that he had his pride. 'So... I don't think it's anything recent and only gotten this glaringly obvious to me because of a certain dead line...'
Taehyung leaned back in his chair, glancing out the window in defeat. Jin was as good as him when it came to noticing things like that...
'Don't be so upset, anyone else might have dismissed the signs, but I know you. We've done this together all the time.' Jin smiled, because he was right and because neither of them would ever leave things alone.
Especially when they were going on for a while.
'It's been more then a month now so I thought we should discuss this.' Jin confirmed his thoughts and Hoseok seemed to catch on as his warm gaze locked on Taehyung too.
'Tae...' Hoseok smiled softly and Taehyung bit his lips to keep from saying anything.
They didn't understand, this was nothing to be happy about.
'You are spending an awful lot of time with this someone. Your habit of open mouthed staring has always been especially bad around him and it only got worse...' Jin listed but all of them knew it already without further confirmation.
'You figured it out, congrats.' he said dryly and both Jin's and Hoseok's smiles disappeared simultaneously.
He knew why – because he reacted so differently then anytime else - but his case was so very different from the others'...
'Tae, it's-' Hoseok began, but he cut him off.
'Not okay. I can't do anything about it, but it's not okay.' Taehyung smiled bitterly and Hoseok's gaze turned worried. 'He would never reciprocate my feelings and I won't mess up our friendship because of it.'
'But how can you be so sure, he doesn't even suspect it.' Jin argued. 'He should know...'
'Yeah, then you wouldn't be eating yourself up like this.' Hoseok said softly, seeing through the cracks of Taehyung's perfect façade.
'I've been doing just fine and that's what you've been doing all this time too so please... Don't tell me that.' he cut back, immediately regretting his words.
He didn't want to hurt Hoseok, but he hated when he was told what to do with his life and Namjoon could not know about any of his feelings.  It'd been two years, what could another two months do – and then maybe, with Namjoon on another continent, he could finally close it down himself.
Quietly.
Without worrying the others like he was doing now.
'But you are hurting.' Hoseok sighed. 'Wouldn't it be better to just let it all out?'
'No, he doesn't think so.' Jin cut in, eyes on Taehyung. 'I know what you are trying to do – but are you sure you won't have regrets?'
Regrets. Another thing he hated...
'I could live with this one.'
'You can't.' Hoseok saw through his lie. 'Please don't hurt yourself. Yoongi and I-'
'Yoongi-hyung and you are different.' Taehyung said, standing up to leave the library as he left the very core of his problem hanging in the air. 'You at least had a chance with each other. I don't have any.'

The act failed, others were in on his secret and he felt horrible because they dug up everything with their hopeful smiles and support that he buried so deeply inside himself... He had no chance at all, why would he go through that painful phase again, when he realized that his love could only ever be one-sided?
He couldn't.
He shouldn't...
So he went out with people who didn't know him, to a place he'd never been before and danced.
For him dancing did not mean anything grand - unlike to his friends' whose very life was dancing.
For him it was a game too, something , something impersonal enough to lose himself in, a good way to forget his traitorous feelings.
He moved on the dance floor, searching for someone who could match his mood that night. Some were too awkward, some too aggressive, some too grabby – no, not them.
Then he found him, pretty in his own world as he danced with closed eyes and Taehyung moved along him. It was sensual, but his closed eyes were a barrier between them and Taehyung was glad for it.
Tonight's butterfly wanted things like him and he was glad for it.
Then he was allowed to touch more, to come closer, and to be part of his little world – those eyes parting slowly to invite him in for a kiss with a slow smile.
And Taehyung ravished him, all of his frustrating helplessness poured into the fierce kiss.
'You are sad.' his butterfly whispered against his lips, his voice deep enough to make Taehyung's heart ache – no, he couldn't think like that.
'I shouldn't be.'
'Then let's pretend you are not.' he told Taehyung and they rushed through the chilly night to pretend together, crashing their lips together again in the other's apartment.
Taehyung'd never allowed Hoseok to touch him, but he didn't have the same rules when he was with strangers. So he caressed, grabbed, d, lavished the other and guided his hands to do the same.
Clothes were scattered as he pressed his butterfly down against the bed, his tan skin exposed for him to kiss and nibble on, tearing muffled s from him.
They didn't talk, they didn't need to. They both were well versed in this game as they moved in rhythm against each other, a selfish but pleasing give and take of pleasure.
'Now...'
His lube slicked fingers mapped out the tight heat.
A , way too obscene and loud in the darkness of the night.
'Now?' Taehyung asked, smirk playing on his lips.
'Well aren't you the funny type.' his partner gasped, chuckle breathy against his neck.
Blind search for the , but Taehyung could do that with eyes closed and inebriated.
'Say, why shouldn't you be sad?' came the soft question as Taehyung prepared himself.
It made him stop to think, but decided to let this slip once – they would never meet again after all.
'Because I know I don't stand a chance, I shouldn't be sad over facts.' he answered quietly, ing in to forget. Opening up to clam up again, and he silenced anymore question with his lips, his s, his need for pleasure.
He kissed marks, his hands firm on slim hips and he thought he should be okay like that. It'd always been okay like that.
Then why couldn't he enjoy it like always?
Taehyung shook his head and quickened his peace, ignoring his butterfly's questioning gaze that got quickly washed away by waves of pleasure.
And release followed soon, burning and slow and Taehyung was left thoughtless for blissful seconds.
Seconds that ended too soon.
And as he stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling thoughts started to make sense, and sense named his feelings.
That one feeling that overtook others.
He could identify it clearly then, and how he wished that he could go back to his unknowing self.
'You can stay.' his butterfly told him but he shook his head no and sat up to dress himself.
He could not stay, not with this one feeling suddenly eating him up.
'Then I hope you can be happy again.' his butterfly smiled, softly pressing one last kiss to Taehyung's cheek. 'And if we meet again maybe you could tell me that you are already taken.'
With that he accompanied him to the door and let him out with a parting wave, but even though Taehyung was walking away that feeling was staying with him.
He just couldn't shake it off.
And it was much more frightening then being rejected... He finally understood what motivated his character to throw away everything to run for unsure happiness.
Because anything was better then this.
Anything was better then feeling empty inside.
This hollowness.
___________________________
Ah Tae, what am I gonna do with you~