Words of Stone (Teacher X Student)

S i x

As I sit here surrounded by a small group of not so close friends at a lunch table, I look towards the ceiling. Names etched into the wall in honor of all the school's brightest students. Usually I wouldn't hang out with these losers, but I didn't trust myself to be alone with my thoughts. It all starts as sadness but then turns to this self hatred feeling where I grow guilt about the way I feel, only leading to more problems. "Yo hipster, you okay there?" One of my friends calls out. I blink repeatedly and turn to them, flicking them off casually.
"I would be more nicer to people such as friends." I heard a voice behind me say. That voice that created a deep feeling of annoyance yet warmth. I turn and see the person I least wanted to see, as he carried a cocky smile. I wanted to burn that smile away just like it had been burned into my memory. I didn't even want to say a single word to him, I know it may seem stupid but I'm just a person who runs away from everything. I grabbed my stuff and fled off into the courtyard taking in some air and walking to my next class, considering break would be over in about five minutes.
. . .
I sat in class actually paying attention, and soon enough, the day has ended and I walked towards my locker to put away my textbooks. In the process I dropped my sketchbook and considering I rarely clean it out, an avalanche of scrap papers with doodles came flying out. I cursed at myself for my typical idiotic clumsy-ness and reached to pick them up, but by the time I finished my bus had fled off, leaving me with a bunch of band nerds after school. Angrily, losing patience I didn't have to begin with, I grabbed my bag and began to head bak out, until I heard a voice call me. "Hey Autumn! Where you going?" I turn and see a friend walking towards me. His name is Jason and he's a pretty nice guy, but like most people, not a very close friend. I replied to his question with the obvious answer "home". He insisted on joining me, saying his place was on his way to mine. I shrugged and let him join. He seemed odd today for some reason. He may not be close, but I can tell when something is odd. I turned to him and began my interrogation. He insisted it was nothing but that's clearly bulls***. I left it off at that and continued walking, and before we left school grounds, he grabbed my hand and held it, in a couple-manner. Just as he did that a car that was leaving school slowed down. It felt strange and yet comforting. But to my opinion not okay. I pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes. "Listen, I know you didn't know this...but I am very serious on personal space, what was that?" I said in the most serious tone I could cough up. He turned a soft shade of pink and shrugged, layer on apologizing profoundly. Of course I forgave him, but by the time I said goodbye to him, I realized what a liar I was to myself yet again.

"Sept 19
I know it isn't good for me to write down stuff at this moment when I'm in a certain state of confusion, but I've realized what a liar I've become. I say I need my space...but when Adair reached for me...I didn't pull away...why?" I wrote down in a slobby handwritting.
Then my inner gates to hell opened and in came rushing memories of a person I used to think I would die for.