When China Breaks//Ed Sheeran #Wattys2016 #NewVoices

pain

I could say that I was excited for people to move my leg, but I wasn't. In fact, when people even looked at it, I wanted to barf as I remembered how it felt when they did touch it. I also knew that physical therapy was a big par of healing, but I was just too scared.

My hospital stay was coming to an end. They had determined that I was stable and that I was no longer at risk for killing over at any minute. That meant I had to prepare myself to go home, as well as learn how to work my wheelchair because that was what I was going to be leaving in. I had to learn how to get in and out of it on my own, which scared me beyond words, but what scared me, even more, was having to depend on my mother for help.

A nurse took me to another part of the hospital, where people with all sorts of disabilities were doing physical therapy. I was lucky enough to have my physical therapist be a woman because, to be honest, I couldn't deal with another male in the hospital. As soon as she saw me, she hurried over to me as grabbed my wheelchair.

"Oh, they weren't lying when they said you were pretty." She cooed at me, taking me over to our training station. "I don't think we've ever had a model in here."

"Oh," I laughed, "I'm not a model."

"Really? Ed said you were." She said. I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, my name is Meghan. I'm going to be your physical therapist, probably for the next few months, okay?"

I nodded. Meghan came around to the front and looked at me. For the first time since the accident I was wearing blue gym shorts, forced to look at both my legs. One leg was completely unshaved and mangy while the other was--at a loss for better words--unavailable. I wore one thin hospital shoe on my left leg, and on my right leg, there was a thick bandage. It wasn't too bad to look at, but I knew that at some point the bandage would have to come off.

"Aaliyah, before we do anything today, I need to make you a promise," Meghan said, sitting down to become eye level with me. "And that promise is that I'm going to help you walk again. I won't give up on you. This isn't just my job, it's my life, and my life revolves around making sure that other people get to live theirs to the absolute fullest. I know that you were a dancer, and this can't be easy, but you have this leg right here, so we're already on a good foundation." She tapped my left knee and I smiled.

Meghan held her hand out for me. "We have to make sure the rest of your body is strong enough to support you without the aid of your right leg. That's the only way yore going to be able to do things like get in and out of your bed, or on and off the toilet."

"Oh, okay." I shrugged. Meghan leaned down and grabbed me around my waist and pulled me up with a strength I didn't know she had in bed one hundred and twenty-pound body.

"You're surprisingly light," she commented. I used my left leg to keep myself up, still holding onto her. Not having two feet on the ground didn't feel completely unnatural, but the fact that I imagined my right foot there for just a second was what scared me.

"Yeah, I lost a few pounds." I joked. I didn't expect her to laugh, but she did.

"That was a good one. Gotta laugh to keep from crying, right?"

"That's what I tell everyone. They just think I'm crazy." I said. Meghan slowly released me from her hold. I looked down at my legs, and I was pleased. Sure, there was only one leg there, but I was standing. Not walking yet, but standing. Due to my exceptional balance, I didn't have a hard time at all staying up.

"That amazing, Aaliyah, that's great. This is already a plus. If you can pull yourself up with something, you might be able to get yourself to a mirror or a stove." She said. "That's only if yours arms are strong enough to do it, though. We can try a few pull-ups and see how that works."