When China Breaks//Ed Sheeran #Wattys2016 #NewVoices

freedom is moving

*SMILEY FACE*

For the first time since the accident, things felt relatively normal. But of course, like anytime else, there was something missing.

I had several lingering fears and a bit of paranoia that never ceased. The first one was that Ed would go away and I would never be able to find him, but in plain sight. He would relapse and hide himself away from me and I would struggle again to reach him. It had been three weeks since he admitted the reason why he had been sad and why he felt the need to spend all his time at the hospital. Since then I had been trying to help him manage his time in a healthy way, although I wasn't a doctor and couldn't really prevent him from getting overly consumed in the patients at the Susan Shepherd Hospital. All I could do was every other day suggest we do something other than visit the hospital, and he seemed okay with that.

My second fear was that junior year was ending faster than I anticipated. One day it was Christmas, the next it was New Years, then Valentines, and suddenly people were going on about the Spring Fling, which hadn't even been on my mind until I was hearing my name called over the intercom during morning announcements. I realized that time was flying by, things in my life were coming and going, and I wasn't gaining any time. The closer we got to the end of the school year, the closer I got to losing Ed.

People in Lang Arts clapped around me and I blinked, realizing that I had been nominated for Spring Fling Queen, which I never in a million years thought about entering, but someone entered for me. I felt sick and horrified, thinking it to be some sick joke. A girl named Meg reached out and grab my arm.

"Ed is your boyfriend right?" She asked me, smiling. "He's been nominated for Spring Fling King!"

I rolled my eyes. Ed, I think. This was his idea. He wasn't one to shy away from the crowds and attention and probably thought we had good odds. "You're so lucky," Meg whispered. Every relationship had its problems, but I agreed; I was lucky. Ed was an amazing person, even though he tried to convince me otherwise, there was no one I believed had a bigger heart. Not even me, the golden girl who survived when the odds weren't in her favor.

At lunch, Ed met me outside my class. I was always happy to see him, but I didn't jump him because Ed appreciated the fact that our affection didn't always have to be physical. I placed my hand in his and he offered to carry my backpack for me, the way he always did. "Where are we going?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"Did you nominate us for Spring Fling Queen and King?" I asked him. He laughed as we walked to the lunch room.

"No, of course not." He told me, sitting down. I sat down next to him as he went to his backpack to pull out our food. A bottle of Pepsi, a bottle of cranberry juice, and Pringles to share. "I hardly even want to go but I'm obligated."

"You-um-you don't want to go?" I stammered, looking down awkwardly at the can of chips. Ed knew that he had hurt my feelings and was thinking of a way to fix it.

"I guess I just assumed that you didn't." He rubbed my arm. "But we can go. We can go together." I smiled. "Are you going to wear a dress so I can see your pretty legs?"

I blushed and coughed, trying to play off the embarrassment. A shadow casted over the both of us and we looked up simultaneously, seeing Chelsea looming over us. "Congratulations on the nominations. I'm sure you'll both win." She said, giving us a curt nod.

I didn't want to win for the reason I got into a car accident and had my leg amputated. I hardly contributed anything to the school since the car accident, so winning would just be unfair. Ed on the other had was very kind to everyone, smart, helpful, and very productive. Not to mention drop dead gorgeous, so there was no one more qualified than him.