The Melancholy of Cassandra-Marie

(4)

"You wanted to talk to me, dad?" I lean against the frame of his office door.

"Yes. Please sit." He gestures for me to seat myself without even looking away from his computer. I sit in a chair opposite him, with his desk separating us. He closes his laptop and focuses on me. I start playing with my fingers from how nervous he makes me.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something I've noticed in your behavior recently."

"O-okay." I mumble. Am I doing something wrong? Oh, what could it be this time?

"Now, I know you've been friends with Louis for a long time. I have no problem with you hanging around him. What does concern me is how... close... you two are getting."

"I... I see."

"He's a decent kid, so please, Cassandra, don't take this as me being the villain. I would just like you to know that I think is a bad time for you to be getting into a relationship. You have too much to focus on, training and final exam-wise. The boy's got a lot of star power too. I don't want your privacy being invaded, or you being manipulated or getting hurt. I love you, Cassandra. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I understand that, I promise I do. I just really care about Louis. I know that you're concerned about me and the kind of lifestyle I'm getting more and more exposed to. What I don't understand is why you're concerned now. Louis and I have been friends for years. Why is it that me getting closer to him is a problem all of a sudden?"

"You two usually see each other in school. But if you two are together, you'll be with one another a lot more than that. The paparazzi that follow that family around will follow you. He'll be a distraction from your grades and your training. I paid a very large sum of money for you to have all these nice things. I'm not investing in you falling behind."

What he says makes me feel like he doesn't believe in me. I mean, that's nothing new, but this time has a very distinct sting to it. It feels like someone is piling bags of sand onto my shoulders, or like I have too many coats on. I feel like I've been sucker-punched by his words.

"I won't mess up, dad. Please stop making it seem like I'm weak and unstable... It doesn't make me feel very good about myself."

"I just don't think his effortless, relaxed lifestyle will rub off on you well. He's extremely laid back and lazy. The boy has no ambition. It's very immature of him to be carrying himself like that."

"Dad, Louis is in Honors. He paints, he sings, he wants to be as great as his mom. He just paces things out differently than us. He does all these great things, but you overlook that because his life isn't as fast-paced and money-focused as yours."

"Okay... please, calm down Cassandra. I just don't think he's good for you right now." my father insists. I'm getting sick of him telling me what he thinks is good for me. I just wish he'd let me make my own decisions for all of five seconds. Just once.

"Really, I just want the best for you."

"Well then, we're done talking. The best for me would be you actually giving me a chance for once, and not making me feel like a god damn waste."

I get up, and politely push my chair in. My dad calls out my name. I close the door behind me.