The Melancholy of Cassandra-Marie

(11)

 "Cassandra, I am so proud of you. I'm so glad you pulled yourself together. You're an Olympic champion now... I can't believe this. Thank you, really. You listened to me, and you pulled through. This is all I've wanted — for you to be successful. Now the whole nation is head over heels for you."

I just nod, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I sit on the couch, silent, as my dad praises me. I am about to ruin everything for him, not that that's anything out of the ordinary. It's better that I just get it off my chest now, because he'll be even more angry at me if I wait.

"Mhm. Yeah."

"Cassandra, are you alright? You look like you've got something on your mind. Do you want to tell me something?"

"I... uh, yeah." I pause, scratching my neck, avoiding eye contact with my father. I have to deliver this right, or else he's probably going to punch me in the face.

"Well, go on." he says firmly, crossing his arms.

"I'm... um—"

He looks at me, eyes wide with concern.

"Come on, Cassandra. I don't have all day."

I exhale, afraid he's going to slap me so hard that it's going to cost me a few IQ points.

"I'm pregnant."

The room goes so quiet that my ears can't fully adjust.

"...what?" he hisses, taking a step back from me. The way he glares at makes me feel like there's a gaping hole where my heart, sternum, and spine should be.

"You heard me..."

He just stares, wide-eyed, for a few more seconds.

"I can't believe you." he scoffs. He refuses to even look at me. "How could you do this?"

"I just... I-I... dad..." I try to find words. "I-I'm sorry."

"Bullshit, Cassandra. You're getting rid of that baby, or you have to leave. I raised a smart, well-behaved girl. She would have been wise enough to listen to me, then none of this would have happened. You are not my daughter."

He's taken enough from me — years of emotional damage have destroyed me. I'm drawing the line at him trying to push physical removal on me. I'm more than fed up with this.

"I'm not getting rid of it. Not a chance."

"Then get out."

His words sting, but I accept them. I will find a place to go, and I will do this on my own. I tell myself that I'll be much happier when I'm out of this house. I have friends I can stay with until I get on my feet. I have sponsorship money to buy food and furniture for the baby's room. I'll be fine, I don't need this kind of treatment anymore.

"I will gladly leave." I stand up. "I'll go be with somebody who means it when they say they give a shit about me!"

"Well, good for you, Cassandra. Pack up all of your garbage and get out of this house. You've strayed too far from the path that was right for you. You didn't listen to me, and you ruined it all for yourself. You cannot fix this. Leave and don't ever come back."

I look at my father one last time, heading upstairs to re-pack all my things. He makes direct eye contact with me. I sigh, just close my eyes, and grin, knowing that I'm finally done.