"Hey guys. What's up?"
Jesus spoke in a soft tone. Firm, yet pleasing to my ears. Jesus, being a perfect depiction of the famous painting "The Last Supper," sat leisurely on a white futon. As we took a seat on an a couch opposite of the futon, Jesus spoke thus.
"I know what you're thinking, Taylor. The reason I choose this appearance is because that's my favorite depiction of me. I didn't look like this, clearly, but I like that painting, and I'm God anyways, so why not?"
I stared, dumbfounded. Alex chuckled. "He's God. He can hear your every thought."
"So anyways," Jesus said casually, "I guess a thing happened. Y'all's attempt at driving stick last night kick-started your circulatory system in one way or another."
"Seems legit." I responded.
"The problem is that I have to take you heaven with me, which can no longer happen without you dying again. I personally don't care too much, because y'all are a cute couple. It's dad that enforces this. I'd let you live, but he'd get pissy."
"The plot thickens," Alex says to himself.
"So I came up with a game, of sorts. If you win my game, I'll let you start life again, and alter the memory of your families and friends to think you were never dead."
I could believe what I was hearing! Jesus was totally a bro!
"If you lose, however, I'm going to have to kill you. I'll let you choose the cause of death, and I'll return your body to its coffin."
"Rad." Alex's response caught me off guard. I wasn't sure why, but a feeling in my stomach took control of me.
"Wait." Jesus looked at me, unsurprised."If we lose, I want to die too. I don't want to live without him."
"I figured that. I'll throw in a bargain. I can't kill you here, due to the fact that you weren't dead, but if you lose, I will help you plan out a death to be executed tomorrow, and I'll make it painless. The only thing I'm not alright with is crucifixion. Shit hurts."
"Deal," Alex and I said simultaneously.
"So, what's the game?" Alex questioned with a note of curiosity.
"A version of Hangman that I modified. I will be asking you questions, and you have to answer for each other. You can not answer for yourself, and you can not tell each other the answer between questions."
"Lol fuck that." Alex's forceful response caught me off guard.
"Lol good point." Jesus responded. I couldn't believe my ears. Why was Jesus built up to be such a righteous and humorless figure? He's more chill than Frosty the snowman going commando. "Just answer me this," Jesus followed. "How many dirty magazines are hidden under Taylor's bed? Only Alex can resp-"
"42."
It was Jesus's turn to be caught off guard by Alex's quick response. I knew that Alex perused them from time to time, but the fact that he had counted them turned me scarlet from head to toe.
"Yeah. Wow, that was fast. Well, alrighty. Let's fix this mess a bit." With this Jesus clapped his hands together. "Done. The second you two step foot in Taylor's room, time will resume as though Alex never died."
"Hey, JC?" I said more quietly than I intended.
"Yo."
"I was wondering... Could you maybe change my parents' opinions on me being gay? I know it's a lot to ask but..."
"Oh, yeah. Your parents are those type of people, aren't they?" Jesus blinked. "There ya go."
And so Alex and I said our thank-you's and fare-wells, and stepped back in the elevator. And from that moment forward, life's been good next to Alex, whose heartbeat I've learned to appreciate.
