Lost reflections

Part 1

My alarm goes of at 6.30, time to get up I think to myself stretching over to my phone to switch the alarm of. Another day of my life, my life that's not really my own, it's my life ruled by anxiety and depression. Thoughts that won't leave my head, evil thoughts that cause me to paint in my own kind of way, alone at night behind the locked bathroom doors with the razor that's both my best friend and worst enemy. I sit up and swinging my short legs other the side of my bed as they hit the floor I feel the crisp cold floor boards below me and stand up ready to struggle through another day. I go to the bathroom and messily tie my tasselled thick blonde beach waves up in a bun, stretching at as I yawn I feel my art from last night start to sting. I sigh picking up my tooth brush and staring to brush my teeth, as I feel the soothing ness of the cool mint in my mouth my older sister Alice walks into the bathroom feeling her way to the sink. "Morning ell." She yawns feeling for her tooth brush, I don't know how she can tell that it's me but she always does. "Morning Ali," I say whilst picking up her tooth brush for her and putting it in her hands. "Here," I go back to brushing my teeth, rinse out my mouth feeling the water dribble down my front I grab a towel dry my mouth then mop up my top before going down stairs to get some breakfast. "Morning Ella." My mum says folding Washing, "morning" I go to the fridge and get out a dairy free Yoghurt since I'm a vegan. I walk of to the cutlery draw and pull out a spoon, slamming the draw shut I here the crash and clank of metal utensils slamming against each other as i walk up the stairs to return to my bedroom I see my dad waiting at the top of stairs to come down. "Hi Ella." He waits until I'm completely at the top before heading down stairs my family are very superstitious because so much bad stuff has happened to us, we're not taking any risks with bad luck. I head to my room and my big brother Brooklyn walks strait into me and knocking me over. "Oi wa.." But he stops mid sentence my other sized t shirt has fallen of one of my shoulders revealing my cuts. He helps me to my feet, then yanks me close to him. "You told me you'd stopped!" He hisses at me whispering! "I'm sorry..." I gasp getting up and tripping over my own feet as I stumble back to my bedroom. Brooklyn's the only person who knows, he walked in on my going it one night. I told him I'd stopped, and I had stopped but I started again. I quickly get dressed avoiding all mirrors in utter disgust of my body. I carefully put on some make up to cover up my face that I can't stand to look at, slip on my white converse grab my bag and head downstairs ready to leave. On the way down I see my twin 10 year old sisters, ruby and poppy, fighting over the TV remote again and my big sister Darcy going to sought them out. I just ignore it and head towards the door, just as I'm about to leave my 4 year old brother joe slams into the side of my legs hugging me tight like he does to one of his bedraggled bears he takes Everywhere with him! "Bu-by Ewa!" He exclaims. "By Joey." I reply kissing his forehead and exiting the house. I walk down the road breathing in the cool, crisp morning London City air. I meander my way to school in my white converse bleached skinny jeans and baggy grey jumper with my black shoulder bag slung over me. I head towards the school gates. My most hated place, wear no one likes me I have no friends people talk about me, people who had been my best friends for about 7 years. All because of one girl spreading rumours about me. Making comments about my weight, the way I look anything she could do or say to make me feel like a complete outcast. I never used to be like this, like a ticking time bomb of anxiety and depression, I used to be one of the most popular girls in the class I was friends with everyone! But everything changed so quickly and everyone turned there backs on me! I head straight to my tutor room and sit down at my desk. They're as a group of girls on the corner talking about me already glancing over at me slightly every once in a while, only subtly but I can tell that they are, I've got good at that.

AN

first chapter hope you enjoyed it Xx