Love & Lies: A Captain Swan Fanfic

Part 6/11

The following day, Emma knocked on August's dressing room door. He answered it on the second knock.

"I knew it was you," he said flatly, as she walked inside and he shut the door behind her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know I screwed up last night. I was just so surprised about winning that I wasn't thinking."

August shook his head. "Do you have any idea how it felt sitting in that audience having to watch you hug Killian and thank everyone under the sun without a mention of me?"

"I'm sure it felt awful," she replied softly.

"If it had been me, Emma, up on that stage, you would have been the first person I thanked. You would have been the one person I would have made sure to acknowledge."

"You have to know it wasn't intentional."

"I do know that. But it speaks volumes about what I mean to you. Or, rather, how little I mean to you."

Emma sighed, as tears began to fill her eyes. August was a good man who had been nothing but loving towards her. He didn't deserve to be constantly made to feel unimportant.

Emma stepped forward and took his hands in hers. "I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry. You mean a lot to me and I am so sorry I ever made you feel otherwise."

August sighed heavily. He could see the regret in her eyes. "I am happy for you, Emma. That win was a long time coming. You deserved it. I am really proud of you."

"Thank you," she said. "Can we please try to put this behind us?"

August slowly nodded. "Okay."

...

Emma stared at her award, which she had placed on her make-up table. She still couldn't believe she had finally won an Emmy.

"Still basking in the glow of your win?" she heard come from behind her.

Emma looked up and into the mirror. She saw Killian's reflection staring back at her. After their almost kiss in the elevator, she had avoided him the rest of the evening. The truth was, she had wanted to kiss him and, if the doors hadn't opened, she would have. She was grateful things had happened the way they did though. She had hurt August enough last night. She wasn't sure she could live with herself if she betrayed him too.

She spun around and faced Killian. Last night, she had opened herself up to him. She had told him things that no one else knew. She had surprised herself with how open and honest she had been with him. But what surprised her even more was that she didn't regret it.

She stood up and walked towards him. "It still doesn't feel real."

"Would you like me to pinch you, love?" he asked, bringing his hand up to caress her bare arm.

Goosebumps immediately appeared on her skin at his touch. Emma took a step back, moving out of his reach. "We need to talk about last night."

"I see. You regret opening up to me," he replied with a heavy sigh,

Emma shook her head. "No, I don't. I'm glad I told you about my past."

Killian arched his brow in surprise. "I understand you better now, Emma. I can see how you became the woman you are today. You're strong and tough, but you're afraid of losing everything. So you get defensive and you lash out at what you deem a threat. I was a threat."

"I don't see you as one anymore," she said. Her voice softened. "But that kiss we almost shared...it was a mistake. We got caught up in the moment and we got carried away. Nothing like that can ever happen again."