Love & Lies: A Captain Swan Fanfic

Part 8/11

Belle didn't bother knocking on Emma's dressing room door. She walked right in and found her sitting on her couch, staring at her engagement ring.

"What were you thinking?" Belle asked, as she sat down beside her.

Emma met her eyes. "Most people just say congratulations."

"I am not going to congratulate you on making the biggest mistake of your life, Emma."

"He was down on one knee with a ring in front of everyone. What was I supposed to say?"

"No! You were supposed to say no. You were supposed to say I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with another man."

Emma sighed heavily. "And humiliate August like that? Break his heart? I couldn't do that to him."

"And you don't think it will break his heart when he finds out his fiancée doesn't love him? That she loves another man?"

"He's never going to find that out. Killian and I... whatever we had, whatever I felt for him...it's in the past. I've put it behind me. I am committed to August. I am committed to making things between us work."

"Emma, it's been five years. If you were going to fall in love with August you would have a long time ago. This isn't fair to him. You're making him believe in a future based on lies."

Emma felt the tears begin to burn her eyes as the guilt built up inside her. "You don't understand, Belle. When I was a kid in foster care, I used to dream of having a permanent home with someone who loved me and would take care of me. One of my foster mothers used to tell me I didn't deserve love. She said I was nothing and I always would be. She said that's why my parents gave me up. Because I wasn't worth loving. She said no one would ever want me or love me. And I believed her for a long time. Then I met Neal and I thought maybe she was wrong. But he broke my heart and just confirmed my worst fears. So I hid from love, I protected my heart. And when August came along, he was the first person to ever put me first. I thought he was safe and comfortable. He would love me and give me stability. He would never break my heart, never leave me like all the rest. It didn't matter if I returned his feelings because he made me feel like someone for the first time. He made me feel like I deserved love. August can give me the life I've wanted since I was a little girl, Belle."

"If August could give you the life you wanted so badly, Emma, then why didn't you move in with him when he asked you three times? Why didn't you accept his proposal the first two times?"

Emma didn't reply, so Belle went on, as she placed her hand over her friend's.

"I'll tell you why. Because you knew he couldn't give you one thing you deserve: true love. And the happiness that goes along with it."

Emma simply shook her head, as she wiped at the tears on her cheek.

...

"I thought I might find you here," Robin said as he took a stool next to Killian.

"Drowning my sorrows."

"I heard about what happened on set today. I'm sorry, mate."

Killian took a swig of his drink. "I should have known better. I was doing fine until Emma came along. I went from one woman to the next. My needs were met. Things were simple, uncomplicated."

"But were you happy?"

"Happy is vastly overrated."

"That's the alcohol talking."

"No, that's my broken heart talking. I took a risk and put my heart on the line again and now look at me. I've turned into one of those pathetic, lovesick puppy dogs that I used to pity."