Never

5

After I had my hot shower, I decided to snoop and look around.

  It felt like heaven on my feet to walk on the plush carpeting. I Sighed in content. I walked up to midnight black closet and pried open the doors. Inside was a series of dark black clothing with a few gray pieces mixed in. I crinkled my nose at the small choice of colorful clothing clothing. Whoever lives here really needs to get a variety of things to wear. Because black is not the most appealing color.

    "Having fun?"

I Jumped and turned around and grasped my chest  like I was holding my heart. Ben, or should I say Kylo Ren stood staring at me with a smirk. "You scared the living crap out of me. Don't sneak up on me like that."

    I rolled my eyes at his childishness and shut the closet doors.

  I narrowed my eyes at the man and walked over and sat on his soft bed.

  "So, the mighty Crylo Ren has invited me to his suite?" I said smirking, knowing that he was irked by my comment. "Do not call me that." He said through clenched teeth. I bit the inside of me cheek trying not to laugh hysterically.

   I put my hands up in defense,"Hey I'm just being honest." He glared at me and narrowed his eyes.

    "Are you aware that you have the power of the force?"

   I raised my eyebrow. Is he being serious?

  "Yes I am being serious."

"Stop doing that," I said glaring at him.

   He set his helmet on the dresser and pulled off his cloak.

      "I'm only trying to help you understand the force." He said while running a hand through his hair. Trying to help me my but.

   

    "What if I don't want to understand?" I snapped. "What if I don't want to join the dark side?"

    He balled his fists and clenched his jaw,"Then we would have to kill you."

    I laughed,"I would rather die than join you." He narrowed his eyes. "Why do fight this? It's destined for you to join the dark side. Why do you fight it?"

    I stared into his eyes and bit the inside of my cheek, " It's better to fight for something, than to live for nothing." I said staring straight into his eyes, Not backing down.

   "I used to love you." I said. "I would lay in bed, for hours in the dark, at night. Thinking about, every possible thing in my life. Every possible way that i could be with you. But now that's over," I took a deep breath," Because you ran. You ran away from your problems Ben Solo. You ran like the coward you truly are." I sneered

  
   I was harshly pulled into his arms as his lips met mine. They were soft and perfect. They fit like a missing puzzle piece. But it was so wrong. But I liked it so much.

     I shoved him away from myself, breaking the kiss. "What are you doing?" I snapped.

    I touched my finger tips to my lips at I stared at him.

      "I needed to do that."

   "Why?"

   "Because I loved you too."

___________

I was lying in his bed while he slept on the other side, breathing quietly. Why would he love me? After all these years. What was the point of bringing it up now?

    I knew I still had feelings for him. But I couldn't love him. He was the enemy. The merciless leader of the nights of ren.

    And I did not want to get mixed up in that. Trust me when I say that.

    "Are you still awake?" Said Kylo quietly. I hummed a response, praying he would leave me alone.

   He pressed his lips onto my shoulder. I shivered at the odd touch of his lips on my skin.

     I shrugged him off me and scooted closer to the opposite side of him.

   "Why do you hate me?"

    I scoffed," I don't hate you. I hate the person you've become. I hate Kylo ren. I hate everything about him."

   "But I loved Ben." I mumbled.

  He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me toward his body.

   "I want you to love me. I want to have you. To hold you. To feel your warmth. To hear your voice. To look into your eyes. And to touch your heart." He whispered.

  My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. Was this and an obsession or was he in love?

____________

  
    It was early in the morning when i woke up to feel his arm still wrapped around my waist and hear him softly snoring.

    I gently set his arm on the bed carful not to wake him and went into the bathroom. I took a cool shower and pulled on a large black sweater that was lying on the counter and a pair of leggings.

     I opens the door to see Ben pulling the sheets up, probably making the bed already dressed.

  "How was your shower?" He asked while throwing the pillows on the bed.

"Um, it was fine?" I said while raising and eyebrow. I ran my hand through my wet hair hoping to brush out the tangled mess.

       "We're going to beginning your training." He stated blankly as if there was no choice in the matter.

"What if I don't want to?" I challenged and walked closer to him."I wouldn't do that if i were you." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I will never join the dark side." I said smugly,"And you hate it. Because you know I will never join you willingly. You can't control me. You can't control everything. And you hate it."

"Do not talk about me like you know me. Because you don't know me. You may have known Ben," he said spitting out the word like it was poison, "but you don't know Kylo ren. I killed Ben. He is dead." He seethed.

"That's not true," I whispered," He's still in there. And your fighting him. But why? The dark side is weak. And pitiful. Driven by anger and hate. But you don't want to hate everything. You want to be loved. And you want to be understood."

He stared at me blankly. "We will begin your training tomorrow."