Pink princess

TEN

I was born In a thunderstorm I grew up over night I played along I played on my own I survived.

Alive- sia (this has kept me going the past few days it's the only thing that has kept me motivated and wanting to keep going)
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After the whole freak out happened and i realized that i was being stupid and we were just going through a lonley place i was calm again, well as calm as i could get. I felt so paranoid about everything ever since the night 2 weeks ago. The memories were still Imprinted and no matter how hard I tried to be happy it was all an act. I didn't think I would ever be the same how could I ever be the same. I was taken advantage of, by not one but 3 or 4 men. I felt hopeless I was a lost cause, lost soul. This trip connor was taking me on would only make me feel okay in the moment but when we got home or when night came I knew everything would be shit again. I'd cry again and hate myself, hate the skin I'm in and the person I've become. Hell I can't even hug people without flinching.

There were times where the flashbacks I had were so vivid I would go ballistic, hitting, screaming and fighting anyone who came near me. No one could stop me when that happened connor was the only person who could at least come close but it was never easy. He had become such an important person to me recently, maybe he knew what it was like to deal with someone who was sexually assaulted. Everything he did was with so much caution, asking for permission to get near me so i wouldn't flinch. In all just treating me like i was still the same person, i didn't see the pity in his eyes as he spoke to me like i did with tyler or anyone else. While I was hurting I didn't want anyone to see me and only want to hang out with me out of pity for that I would just stay alone. Connor was my white blood, giving the right love. I needed him here with me, keeping me going.

-"it's almost midnight take a nap doll"- connor Said startling me and making me jump, he cackled and looked at me amusement flooding in his eyes. I was caught, the light of the moon hit his face making him look even more holy and innocent, his tight grip on the steering wheel and a slight smile on his face it all had my heart fluttering; almost how I felt the night he walked me to my apartment and held my hand, or when he found me that night and took care of me as if I meant the world to him. When I didn't answer he turned his head slightly and raised a thick eyebrow at me silently asking what was wrong. I shook my head and laid my seat all the way back closing my eyes. Half of my thoughts were filled with connor and I was sure my dreams would consist of him; I would chose that over my other nightmares any day so I couldn't complain.

I Woke up hours later to Connor turning off the car, i was so tired my eyes could barely open. -" Are we there?"- I spoke my words slurred and sleepy -"Yeah I'm gonna pick you up okay there's steps and i don't want you to fall"- I nodded and closed my eyes again the bright lights of i didn't even know what hurting my vision. He opened the door to my side and picked me up i nuzzled closer to him feeling warm and safe in his strong arms. A wave of coolness hit me as we walked inside the place ( of which I still didn't know) I shivered and I felt connor tighten his hold on me, he spoke with some man and I stopped listening after the first few words shared. I must've fell asleep again because when I woke up again it was to my body being put down on a soft bed, letting out a sigh of relief I cuddled into the sheets and fell asleep once again hopefully for the rest of the night this time.

The sun shinning through a window woke me up the next morning, groaning I put a pillow over head trying to catch the most sleep I could get. Finally realizing that would never work out I got up and was very confused. I was in a room of what looked like a hotel; nice one at that it was spacious with a balcony covered by thin white curtains, those being the reason for my being up so early. I turned to my right to see Connor sleeping pe acefully, deciding not to even bother with waking him up seeing as he had to have been really tired. So I gave myself a tour of the hotel room.

There were different rooms one having a little living room then next to it the kitchen and finally the bathroom. My favorite part do far having to be the bathroom with a huge bathtub and a waterfall type shower. I could actually live here, in this bathroom. I walked back into the room with the beds to see Connor texting rapidly on his phone. -"do you mind telling me where we are?"- I asked sarcastically he smiled and grabbed my hand, flinching I pulled it back and tensed up feeling weird about having actual contact with someone. I saw a quick flash of sadness and hurt pass through his eyes and quickly grabbed his hand again. He pulled me out to the balcony and I was stunned, amazed, mesmerized, we were in Palm Springs, the beach right in front of us. It looked beautiful absolutely breathtaking. -"What are we doing here con?"- I asked -" I just thought we both needed a break from the world don't you think, i talked to josh and he's giving you a lot of time off"- everything about this was crazy, we were in Palm Springs I didn't have any clothes and we were staying for a week what the hell.

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The first two days we just laid around the beach and got tan, knowing I definitely needed some sun connor not so much with his perfectly tan skin that I was so jelous of. It was nice, none of us used our phones of worried about anything outside of just relaxing and being calm, we blasted the xx and broods all day I loved it. Connor and i shared a lot of things about us, there were big secrets shared and just little facts and quirks about each other, i found out he loved taking pictures and actually worked for vogue and had modeled for big clothing brands, he found out I sang and also modeled for some brands. The days went by slowly but to me that was okay because spending every second of the day with connor would be okay, great actually.

It was the third day when we were once again at the beach that i heard the famous tyler oakley laugh it wasn't very hard to not hear, it was loud and flamboyant two words that literally describe tyler. He wasn't alone though my sun was soon blocked by a group of people. There was tyler, Korey, (tys bf) josh, and the other tyler. I sat there not really knowing what to do connor was up and hugging them, as much as I wanted to greet them i couldn't my nerves and anxiety wouldn't let me. I really did want to but I couldn't see it happening I would get overwhelmed and end up running from it all. So instead I smiled politely and waved at all of them.

Turns out Connor had this planned for a while and they'd be spending the rest of the week with us which I was okay with. This could help me I knew it would being with friends away from the drama of L.A. everything about these pass two days were amazing and now with the rest of the crew together it would be even better and I had longing for something like this for a while now.

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A/N

Hey, this took a little while. I'm realizing no one is actually really reading this and it's making me a little more sad because I work so hard on this like i take so much time out of my days to write this and I know that it isn't the best but maybe someone at least could give it a try. Even though I know that the views I make me the happiest ever because I didn't think I would ever get any reads what so ever so thank you to whoever read this, voted and commented.

It's 2am and I'm over emotional, goodnight babes.

I love you lots.💙

Tro looks so cute in that picture I can't his cute little smile and adorable curls and his pink shirt which I'm totally gonna cop. Idk I love it so much.