The "Somewhat" Nanny

Oh Boy.....

To answer that question, no I was NOT sure. It has been about 3 weeks since I've become the nanny and now I think I realize what my mom meant when she would tell me and my brother that we were "angels baked by the devil". Lily has managed to put every sort of bean, toy, button, pencil eraser, and anything else you can imagine up her nose. While Jake asks the most inappropriate questions at the most inopportune times. Don't get me wrong, I find these crazy antics HI-larious, but since I have to play grown-up, my stern face seems to be out more times than not.......at least when their gorgeous father is around. Now did I tell Lily to stick that jelly bean up her nose? No I did not. Did I encourage her and cheer on as she did it? Yes I did. But it was only a split second that I forgot that she was 3 and not one of my idiot college friends. Listen, you have to let kids be kids........with some limitations of course. How about I just tell you how a jellybean got lodged up the nostril of Thing 2. It all started when Lily and I was at home by ourselves because Jake was at school and Derek was at work.....

*Two Weeks Ago*

"Shay let's watch Dwoc McStuffins and throw jwelly bweans at the tv at the same time!" Lily asks excitedly.

Me being the responsible adult I am I say, "Sure! Why not?"

So we're about thirty minutes in and things are going extremely well if I do say so myself. All of a sudden I hear a giggle. I turn to see Lily with a bright green jellybean hanging out of her nose.

"Look Shay! Look!" Lily squeals.

Now in retrospect I realize that I should be alarmed, but caught up in the moment of fun, I say, "Whoa Thing Two you have a HUGE booger hanging from your nose!"

Lily laughs and says, "It's not a bwooger silly! It's a jwelly bwean!"

"OH! You're right! It is a jelly bean!" I exclaim.

"I should pwush it up my nose!" she yells.

"Yea you should! That would be so cool! That reminds me of the time Thomas Mc......wait no! No you shouldn't!" I exclaimed.

Before I could stop her, the jellybean was lodged in there like a ring on a fat finger.

"Uh-oh", Lily says

"Yea 'uh-oh' is right" I say.

So I'm holding down the other side of Thing Two's nose telling her to "blow" so the bean can pop out and at that moment, Delectable Dad decides to pop up and surprise us by coming home early.

He wasn't too fond of the sight he saw to say the least.

*End of Flashback*

After that incident and him finding out that the jelly bean wasn't the first thing to get stuck up her nose, once the vain stopped straining in his neck, he almost fired me. But thanks to my little darling cherubs, they talked him out kicking me to the curb. However, I did get a very stern talking to.

Because I felt so guilty about what happened even two weeks later, I decided to that I would make dinner sort of as a second apology.

We're eating dinner and things are going better than I expected; Lily hasn't stuck any food up her nasal cavity and Mr. McHotty isn't scowling at me as much as he normally does. Just when I thought I was back on the good side of His Royal Hotness, Jake asks, "What would happen is someone swallowed a fart?"

I felt Derek's laser stare on me and I refused to look at his piercing gaze.

'Oh boy.....'