Thank you, to everyone who reads my book. Although it may not be many, I'm sure it will grow overtime.
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"Jack, you just-" I said dumbfounded. He nodded, and flashed a blush. "I just kissed you!" He asked shocked at himself. He shook his head, started the engine and kept his mouth shut almost the entire ride."Jack?" I asked. It took him a while before he responded, "what?" I shook my hands, as I felt a wave of anxiety take over. "Wh-why did you..?" I asked, as my shy voice trailed off.
He shrugged his shoulders, "look can we forget about it, because it was a dumb move anyways!" I looked at my apartment complex, as he parked his car. "That's right, I forgot. You love hurting girls" I said almost into tears, getting out of his car.
I thought moving to California would be easy. Funny how things never really work out.
_____Feelings are confusing. But you know me, I'm the kind of person that can hide a thousand feelings behind one smile. Just the thought of smiling made me think about Jack. He had a beautiful smile.
Sitting on my bed with a pillow clutched in my hands is refreshing. I needed an unproductive day to organize my thoughts.
Thoughts.
Thoughts.
Jack made me think harder than I could imagine. How can a guy like him
consume so much of my mind. Around him, he's so real. Other models are rude, and disrespectful, but Jack...he's different. He's unique.But, I feel like I'm just waiting, and waiting, for something that isn't going to happen. I bet he's just as confused as I am. But who cares. Not me (me). Besides, I've been hurt so many times that it's starting to become a normal routine.
Bullies in high school, my old job, my real mother, and to add to the list Jack. Is juggling people's emotions some kind of game? See, one minute we are having fun, enjoying each other. The next, he does something awkward and ignores that it has ever happen.
I felt a tear, escape from my eyes. Gods, I hate crying. It shows my weakness, and being weak is weak. I heard a knock on my door.
I got up, and dragged my self around the corner and towards my door in grey sweat pants, and sports bra. I immediately opened the door to be forced in a kiss.
A very possessive, passionate kiss. "Jack?" I said, unable to comprehend what was happening. "I'm sorry Maddison! I've been such a dumb person to not be able to see what's in front of me. The person I see, is glorious, magnificent, no, outstanding. You don't even know how much I think about you."
He gulped, so he can take a short breath only to continue his speech. "I run okay! Anytime I'm confused I run! You confuse me Madds. I feel weird around you. But the best part is, I love it! I fucking love it, okay." He looked at me so desperately.
I let out some tears. Never have I ever had a guy come to my door to ask for forgiveness. Never have I ever had a guy, that like me this much. I hugged him, tightly. But,
What if?
That's all I could think about. What if? What if he doesn't really like me? What if he realizes he made a mistake? Or worse, what if he is just going to use me?
"Do you wan-want to come in?" I whispered. "Sure." He came in with confidence and plopped down on my couch. I walked over and sat down next to him, leaving some distance. "I can't." I said. He motioned his gaze towards me.
"What if I get hurt? Or what-" He stopped me with his finger. "Don't you dare Maddie Rei! Don't you for a second doubt yourself. Don't doubt us. I like you, and I would never hurt you. Ever!" He grabbed my hand and inter winded our fingers.
"For now on your my rubber band." He said in a serious tone. "Rubber band?" I asked confused. "Yeah, see love is like a rubber band. You and I hold both ends of it, and if one of us let's go, it hurts the other." I got a little sarcastic, "so you are planning on hurting me?"
He smiled. "No, I plan on never letting go." And neither am I, is what I wanted to say. But instead I kept my mouth closed. I gazed at his black sweater and laid on his chest. He unsurely placed his arm around me.
"So Jack, does this mean we are dating?" I said, while playing with the loose buttons of his sweater. "Yeah, I believe so Madds." I smiled softly and listened to the melody of his heart. The heart that I couldn't help but feel was pumping for me now.
After all, mines is pumping for him.
Him. For some reason I just know, that this boy will always be on my mind. Non stop. He's a mind drug. So I'll never loose thought of him.
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I'm sorry for not updating this soon enough. I'll try my best to update more regularly.Love you guys,
Jayla❤️
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