New Ways

TWENTY-SEVEN

Amery

Ever had that one moment where you really wished you could take back something you said? Yeah, mine was when I saw Sigrid swallowing back her tears when she reminded me of what I had said to her. I realised how awful it must have sounded now that I was watching her trying hard not to fall apart in front of me.

I didn't know what to do to comfort her. In fact, I couldn't even do anything. She didn't even let me touch her. My fingers yearned to intertwine themselves with hers, my lips wanted to kiss away the depressing words that were coming out of hers and my body fought back the desire to envelope itself around hers. I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling this way towards Sigrid right now but before I could even answer my own question, she beat me to it with hers.

"So... can I have my bag now?"

"I have another question," I said.

"Just one more and you'll give me my bag."

"Okay," I agreed, feeling nervous at the question I was about to ask. "Why did she... break up with you?"

Sigrid paused, her facial expression turning cold again. "She, uh, she told me she'd actually met someone she really liked back in San Diego. Someone who was willing to commit to her. Someone she was willing to commit to as well. I guess I'm just confused. At the beginning of our relationship we agreed that when we are finally ready to commit, we'd tell the other. I just thought she meant when she was ready to commit to me."

My heart sank after she ended her explanation. She must have been really serious, in a way, about Kate and their relationship. She just wasn't ready to settle down and that wasn't her fault but it was Kate's for her misleading promises. I swear I wanted to take a flight to San Diego and berate the shit out of Kate for hurting Sigrid that way, but I figured that the latter wouldn't want that kind of help from me anyway. I figured she needed me to just be there for her, so that was exactly what I did.

"You hungry? Wanna get some pizza, just you and me? I'll tell Derek and JP to go home and make out with each other or something," I joked to lighten the mood.

Sigrid's eyes widened and she eyed me amusedly. "You want your boyfriend and your gay best friend to make out?"

I laughed and rolled my eyes at her silly question. "He's not my boyfriend. The title is hard to earn. Now come on, I'm famished. Let's go before the pizza joint closes. I owe you my share of explanation too."

"About what?" Sigrid asked, securing her backpack on her shoulders.

"About why I didn't call or text you after that night."

"Yeah I thought you were weirded out by the kiss. I didn't think much of it, so yeah it's fine."

"Why would I be weirded out? I initiated the kiss. If there was anyone who should feel weirded out by that, it should be you."

"Oh you bet I was, Am."

I gasped at her reply. "Why?! Was I that bad? Well even if it was, you deserved it. For kissing my best friend."

"Hey that is so unfair! She kissed me first too!" I almost laughed at how defensive Sigrid suddenly got.

"But I didn't see you pulling away from her like how you pulled away from me. Tell me, Sig, do you like her?"

"You kissed me, so does that mean you like me?" Sigrid held my gaze, smirking.

I felt my face burn when she dropped that question. Lucky for me, Sigrid didn't wait for the answer and turned away to walk over to the door. It was as if she wanted me to answer that question to myself instead and I think I somehow did.