It was me, not you

Chapter 9

"Has everyone got there costumes and shoes?" I ask. It was the morning before the comp and a wedding rehearsal followed by a sleepover with all the girls. I was excited fro the sleepover but not for the rehearsal. I would have had to see Sam and because Stefan will be there and Sam would think we were together no matter who says were not or how many time they say it he wouldn't believe me. That's why I hated him. If I didn't hate him, I would hate myself and I was sick of hating myself. I shake my head and go back to the situation at hand. "Ok. Final dress rehearsal before the competition. Make it good, put all your energy into it" I say and grab the remote. Quinn puts her hand. "Yes Quinn" I say and look at her.

"Thanks" she says and smiles. I am confused, I didn't know what she meant.

"Yeah. Thanks. Thank you for everything, your devotion to the team after your baby died and you helped us get here today" naya says. I smile.

"Thanks guys. We wouldn't be here without you either. If not just me" I say and grab the remote. "Ok. Final rehearsal. Lets give it all our best, the bus is coming in 6 minutes. So we need to be ready and have finished the routine by then."

---

I stand backstage as we all huddle "Ok. We have worked for weeks on this. If you do it like we rehearsed today. Whatever we place, I am... so... so proud of you. So good luck and do your best that's all I'm asking for and get on stage" I say smiling. They run on and get into positions.

"Jordan?" someone asks. I turn around and roll my eyes at who I see, it was a girl from high school that dated Joey after me. We basically fought over everything

"Tamara" I say.

"Nice to see you. Is that you team? I heard you have a pregnant girl on your team. You know that's bad publicity. I also heard you were pregnant. How's the baby?.. Oh wait you lost it" she says. I feel rage and anger from what she said but I just turn around and watch my team. "Oh.. What? Jordan can't fight any more. Has someone changed the Jordan we all loved. Was it Stefan or Sam? I think it might have been Sam. We seemed to have changed me when we had sex." I turn around and look at her.

"He... he wouldn't do that you're lying" I say and shake my head.

"No. Ask him yourself. He would say he enjoyed it. He finally got. over. you" she says slowly. I shake my head and turn around I see the ending on the dance and wipe the tears from my face. She walks off as my team come back.

"Why are you crying?" Maddie asks. I fake smile and wipe my tears.

"You guys did so well. I am so proud of you" I say and smile. It was true they did really well better than rehearsal but I couldn't focus on our great performance. All I could think about was Sam and her. If it was true or not.

We sit down to watch the other dance teams, I go to the aisle but some guy grabs my arm and applies pressure to it. 

"Do you mind?" I say looking up at the person. It was Harry. I take a huge breath after I see it was him. 

"Can we talk?" he says. I decide to listen what he had to say. I leave my team and we talk in one of the small rehearsal rooms.

I sit down and take a huge breath "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I missed you. After all this time. I still love you" he says. I roll my eyes. He sits next to me, close enough that our thighs were touching. I look up at him and his eyes point directly into mine. It was like he was drawing me. He moves his head towards me and our lips just touch. He kisses me and I let him. I feel I was just too upset. I wanted to hurt Sam even though he wasn't here or going to know. I kiss him for a second and decide to stop but he won't let me. I should have know one kiss would have lead to sex. And I wasn't happy to be having sex with him after just losing my baby. I was really hoping it would have been Sam but my new found hatred for him has gotten in the way of it.

He grab me tight by the legs and I can't escape. He applies pressure that will make me bruise through my denim ripped jeans. He takes off my black blazer and squeezes my arm as he tries to take off my black blazer. He kisses my neck and bites into it leaving teeth marks. He drags his nails on my back until it draws blood it felt even more painful then last time. He takes off his pants and I quickly run out grabbing my top and blazer. I run out near the security guards and they charge into the room we were in. I stand there in my bra as they drag him out, luckily everyone was still inside so they didn't see him and I.

"I love you Jordan. You love me. You will always love me."

"No" I say as tears fall. "I will never love you and I got over that a long time ago. When you came to the wedding."

"You love me, no matter how hard you to try to deny it. You love me" he says as they drag him. A police guard stands next to me and touches my back. I step out as he touches my scratches.

"Sorry, miss. We can take you to doctor to get nurse. They will clean you up."

"No I will be fine" I reply and walk into the bathroom. I look at the scratch in the mirror and it covers my right shoulder blade and it covered a quatre of my back. I put my top and blazer on and walk out like nothing happened. I wasn't going to let this ruin the day. By now I knew how to handle it and I was going to do exactly that.

---

I walk in and everyone is waiting for me at the venue. Hailey walks in and grab my arm. I flinch and pull my arm away.

"Are you alright?" she asks. I nod and walk in. She leads me straight to Sam but I just turn my back and walk off to help Ty with the chairs. Sam comes over and follows me to Ty. 

"Your avoiding me?" he says. I scrunch up my face and turn around to face him. 

"What no I am not avoiding you. I'm trying to set up. Have you seen how they've set up the tables. Totally wrong" I say trying not to look at him in the eye.

"Jordan can we talk?" he asks. I think for a moment.

"No" I say shaking my head. I walk back and grabs some chairs and put them around the table with Ty.

"You too are fighting like an awkward couple. Talk to him. He wants to sort things out between the two of you" he says.

"No." I say and pull the chairs in. "I don't want to talk to him."

"Can you grab some more chairs Jordan. There in the room on the left of the reception" he says. I nod and walk out to there.

The door was slightly open and I could hear to people talking.

"What can I do?" he asks.

"I honestly don't know. Sorry Sam. I would tell you but she keeps changing her mind on you. I honestly think there is nothing you could do." she says.

"Thanks Hailey" he says. I step away from the door as it slightly opens. It was Sam, he looks around and sees me hiding there. 

"Jordan" he says as I try to walk off.

"Don't ask Hailey what to do. She doesn't have the answer" I say. I turn around and see him there.

"You heard the whole conversation?" he asks. I nod and hold my arm.

"I heard it all. The door was open" I explain. He steps forward.

"But you chose to listen in. There's a part of you that still love me. I know it" he says.

"Maybe there is. Or maybe there's not. But I do know you slept with Tamara."

He doesn't look surprised that I know that I know that and he wasn't quick to reply back. "I'm sorry" he says.

"I don't hate you for mourning your daughter, or leaving me or being a complete jerk in the process. I do forgive you" I explain.

"But you still hate me?" he asks. I look down then nod my head.

"If I don't hate you. I hate myself for ruining what we had and I think personally I deserve better" I say and walk off.