sabian (VIII)

Who Am I? Pt. ???

I lost the sense of my name.

My name no longer means anything to me, my name looks at me while I'm standing in the mirror and says how badly of a person I've become. "Look at you" says my name. "Worn out garbage is what you've become"

I didn't mean to hurt people, I just wanted to-

"Save it, you've caused so much trouble already, remember me?! The person you used to look at and think of all the greatness I have"

He's gone now. He was weak so i murdered him.

"Murdered him?"

Yes, I killed him.

"Why do you believe he was weak?"

Look at his defiled corpse and tell me if that's the face of someone with a purpose. Look at it tell me what kind of person is so happy and so crazed about everything else, he forgets about his own emotions too.

"You didn't kill him."

What? Is his still breathing?

"He was never breathing to begin with. You merely casted out of him, a shell if you will"

No, I don't believe you.

"Believe me or don't believe me, you know it to be true."

I can't.

"Why? You know how different you become in these last 6 months?! 6 months ago, you never even would have attempted to even talk to the person, and now, you've hurt them. Look at yourself though, look how great you've become, artist, poet, believer in being a down-right piece of shit mother fucker."

What have you done to me...

"Your name has changed kid, and so have you. I traded in your golden heart of kindness for a metal heart to protect your soul. Isn't that all you've ever wanted? To know you'll be perfectly fine alone?"

This is not what I wanted. I only wanted happiness.

"We'll be happy alone then."

I don't wanna be happy alone, I wanna be happy with her-, with someone.

"So the truth finally speaks out from that tattered up skin huh?"

I just can't see me without that someone.

"I know kid but it's that persons choice, you have to let them go."

I can't

"Stop crying, I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier, I just need you to let go."

I can't

"We'll make it out kid, just you wait and see."

I'm sorry what have I done, I drove her away, like I'm some kind of monster. Oh my god, I'm so terrible