The Perks of Being a Lesbian (Camren)

*sigh*

So I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks. I've been beating myself up over this. Because I've done this before. I've put this fic on hold before and it sucked and I felt bad and it took a while for me to focus on myself for a bit. I hated doing that, because I love interacting with you guys and hearing what you have to say about the little story I had to tell. 

BUT

I just can't anymore. I work in the studio (not telling you what label bc privacy) for most of the day, go pick up a child from school, come home and do any work I have leftover. Then I help with homework and do chores and make dinner and get about thirty minutes before putting said child to bed that I have available to write. My girlfriend comes home and we sit down while she eats and we catch up and make sure we're on the same page with the next day's schedule. Then we go to bed and the whole thing starts over the next day.

Now, why am I telling you all of this? I have no fucking idea. I guess I tend to overshare. But my point is that my life is really weird right now. Like, I don't know about any of you, but I feel like a grown thirty-something-year-old woman, when I'm almost twenty, not even old enough to legally drink (in the U.S.). I love the little family I've got going on right now, I really do. However, I never seem to have any time for anything other than work and responsibility.

I barely have time to pay myself any attention. I barely have time to focus on the multiple issues going on up in my messed up brain. And all the way in the back of said brain is a Camren fic that I can't seem to finish. It's not a big deal, I know. It's one fic in a sea of fics (more like an ocean of fics) and none of you will be permanently scarred by me doing this. I'm not hurting anybody, so I don't know why this is bugging me so much. But I feel better typing it all out. 

Maybe I'll come back and finish. Maybe I'll come back and write something else. I don't know. But I do know, I can't do it right now. This fic started out as a random idea and grew into an opportunity to talk to some really fucking awesome people. I don't take that for granted. I love this story and the characters and the feeling I had when writing most of it. But I don't have the time and I'm not at a good point in my life for it.

Just know that I love you guys and I'm really glad I did this. You're all so amazing and patient. Also, thanks for all of the continued support in my struggles. You get it and you understand and I'm so thankful.

Don't hesitate to message me if you just wanna chat or something. That, I can manage. In fact, if I get enough questions in my inbox, I'll answer them in another chapter, because why not. Please excuse the run-on sentences and the ranting. I was literally just typing things out as I thought of them.

I love you guys! Thanks for reading!

Kay <3