Just Kill Me Now...

Chapter One

You know that feeling when you feel like you want to kill yourself? Not out of sadness, but out of hatred? That's the feeling that I've felt my entire life. Everyday, when you look at the clock and you just see the seconds hand slowly move around the clock. When it'd just stop raining and you see the raindrops fall slowly off the wall. Sometimes when you're just sitting in class and you blur the whole world out and think. The life of every high schooler. Sometimes the world is just so terrible and annoying, you have no other idea than just to commit suicide.

My name is Gray Lavine, I'm 16 years old and I live in San Diego. I have skin whiter than ivory and I've got long brunette hair that falls just after my shoulders. I'm fairly tall and somewhat lean, I'd guess you could call me somewhat decent looking but no where near being the next Victoria's Secret model. Though I wanted to be one when I was younger.

I know, kinda strange, right? But hey, I was a dreamer.

I was recently on a trip with my friends and with a guy I like and I saw him holding another girl while they were asleep. I constantly looked over to see if it was real, hoping I was imagining, I wasn't. Of course I was pissed but I couldn't do anything to fix it, he was across from me. I ended up falling asleep, listening to the music blasting in my ears. The person next to me had to wake me up. My crush and the other girl seemed to be distant afterwards and it made me feel better. The rest of the night was a blur and the next day was school. I put on my happy face and went on. That isn't how it always is.

"Gray!" A voice shouts somewhere to my left. I turn and see my best friend Charlie running to me.

"Hey Charlie. What's up?" Her long blonde hair was put up in a tight bun on top of her head. Her soft brown eyes looked me directly in my eyes, I knew instantly that she had something important to tell me. Her hands were fiddling with the clear buttons on her white vest that was over her pink dress that fell to her knees.

She looked down and whispers, "He's back." For a second, I didn't remember who 'he' was, then anger flared through me when I remembered.

"Where is he, that son of a-" I start before she interrupts me, she doesn't like it when I curse but I can't help it. My anger has to get out somehow. Better cursing than actually punching the dweeb.

"He's with Andrew right now on the football field." I start walking in the direction she'd came, but her arm stops me. She is smaller than me and I would be able to get away but I don't budge, I turn around and face her. "Don't." She pleads.

"Charlie, you can't stop me." I say looking straight at her.

"I know, at least don't do anything stupid."

"Can't make any promises." I laugh and turn back around walking to the field. When I finally got there, I saw Andrew talking to him. My face automatically morphs into a scowl. I walk over, like I'm going to talk to Andrew but instead I step in between them and stare straight at him.

"Hey Gray." He laughs awkwardly as he rubs the back of his neck, trying to avoid my eye contact but failing epically.

"Regie." I say as I glare at him.

"How've you been?" He starts, trying to make it less awkward. As if that'd work.

"Stop. Why are you here?"

"I moved back."

"No one wants you here." I snap.

"Gray!" Andrew interrupts shocked.

"It's the truth," I shrug my shoulders.

"The ladies say otherwise." He says as he runs his fingers through his long brown hair.