Just Kill Me Now...

Chapter Seven

The doctors crowded my dad as he laid dying. I ran out of the room and down the hall to where the stairs were. I sat on the stairs and screamed. The numbness crept in. I looked out a window that was shining the orange light down on me. I buried my head in my knees and closed my eyes. Letting people walk pass, causing a wind to ruffle my hair. A hand was placed on my shoulder and I could feel it push me down slightly as the person sat next to me.

"Not now Regie." I whisper.

"It's not Regie." A female voice laughs. I look up to see Charlie.

"Charlie!" I say as I embrace her. "What are you doing here?"

"Regie texted me and I rushed over." She says before she whispers, "Look up." I look up and see Regie leaning against the railing. He walked over once he met my stare and sat next to me as held my hand. "Look how cute you guys are."

"Shut up Charlie." I laugh as I shove her lightly.

"Naw, I'm good." I leaned against Charlie as she leaned on me. Regie just held my hand and said nothing. When I looked back up, it was night and the artificial lighting showered us, making us look pale. I nudged Charlie and she woke up. I looked over at Regie and he was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. I stood up and they both followed me down the stairs. I walked to the bus stop, though they both offered me a ride home. Once they were gone, I walked to Denny's that was about a mile away. I sat down and texted Scott where I was. He didn't respond. I ordered a shake and just let it sit in front of me, never touched it.

The waitress came back, "Honey, are you okay?" I only manage a nod. "Okay, just call me if you need anything, my name is Shay by the way." The diner was empty besides this old couple that was eating in the corner. When I heard the bell ring when the door opened, I looked up, hoping slightly it was Regie. It was Scott. Damn. But I don't honestly care anymore, I'm gonna be stuck with him for awhile, now I'm gonna start counting the days till college.

"Hey Gray." Scott greets.

"How could you lie to me you son of a bitch?" I say in a mellow tone.

"Lie?"

"You said he was dead. I got there and he was alive. You lied and about my father's death! Are you crazy? Wha... what kind of person does that?" I say, feeling tears form in my eyes, they're on the verge of falling on my face. Making the world know they're here.

"What?" Scott asks confused.

"Don't! I can't live with you. I'll be homeless! I hate you Scott!" I earned the eyes of the diner by my outburst. Which was just the old couple.

"I figured you might've been this insensible." He says grimly.

"Me? I'm the one being insensible. Ha. Oh you're wrong Scott. You're so wrong." I exclaim going hysteric. "Scott, I want to see my house on the market in no more than one month. That is my home. Not yours. I'm getting all the money from him, not you. I'm his immediate family not you. You were never gonna be part of a real family Scott. You don't deserve this. You didn't deserve anything you got from us."

     "Yeah. I stayed home, my home thank you very much and packed all your things. I also got your friend Regie to pick you up. He's outside..." He trails off. "Goodbye Gray." He left $20 on the table and left. I ran outside and jumped into Regie's arms, he didn't say anything. Just held me. I bawled my head off and he just went to his knee's then to the ground and leaned against the wall to support us both.

     "Gray." He says. He cups my face in his hand, staring at me when our eyes meet. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this life. You're beautiful, spectacular, intelligent, athletic, and I miss you every time I'm not with you. I love you Gray." My heartbeat quickens. I run my hand thorough his hair causing it to go off in different directions. I love him back. No doubt. I shouldn't but I do.

     "I love you Regie." I say as I push his head to mine and the kiss is first soft but not long after it turns into a deep kiss. Our tongues mingling with each other. He pulls away and I stare at him. He gets up and I fall off him, he picks me up and puts me in the car. 

     I wonder where we are going, his house is in the opposite direction. He pulls up to this really nice building. He steps out and lifts me out, closing the door but not locking it. No words leave our mouth. He walks in through these double doors and walks up this spiral staircase, leading me to the 6th floor. 

     "Regie, where are we going?" I ask as I breathe heavily. 

     "To my apartment." He responds as he continues to climb. 

     "What? Your apartment? I thought you lived with your parents." 

     "No, most of my stuff is there but I live here." 

     "How old are you?" 

     " I'm 19..."

     "For the longest time I thought you were 17 or something like that." 

     "Well nope." He says as he opens a door leading to a small but well kept apartment. The walls were grey with mostly black furniture. He lead me into his bedroom. And I just stood there not knowing what is happening. He emerged from his bathroom and walked slowly to me. 

     He cupped my face, kissing me softly, then making a trail down my neck. When he reaches my face again I kiss him hard, as he slowly backs me into a wall. His figure towering over mine. My hands reach for his shirt to pull it off. As I do this I think about what has happened the past couple days. The accidents and my fathers death. I think about how I shouldn't be kissing him. I put his shirt back on and I slump to the floor, but I'm not sad.

Through all this I find that I don't care.

About anything. I don't care about my dad's death anymore. I don't care about Regie. And I don't care about my life.

At this point in time, I could drug myself till death and I'd be happy with it. I will remember everything and anything but I can't and won't deal with it. 

You happy world? You've gotten me to give up on life, officially and not playfully. 

My note goodbye...

Dear World, 

I fucking hate you. I hate you with a passion. I used to be a happy girl but now look what a death could do to you, so why do it? Because you fuckin hate yourself. You hate how polluted you are, you hate how you have people destroying your ecosystems that you've worked hard on. So you give people reasons to kill themselves, you reach inside their heads and drive them insane. Congrats, you got inside mine. And now I won't be a burden, a small girl who normally rides a bike, which I may remind you, does not pollute anything, and thank you for killing my father. Thank you. Thank you. Thank... you... 

-Gray (Not a burden no more)

P.S. Go to hell world. You should just pull yourself to the sun and burn up. Go to fuckin hell.