May Death Never Stop You (Completed)

Chapter 5

"Sometimes we must grow stronger and you can be stronger when I'm gone. When I'm here, no longer you must be stronger." -The Light Behind Your Eyes, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.
"These are the nights and the lights that we fade in. These are the words but the words aren't coming out. They burn 'cause they are hard to say for every failing sun, there's a morning after. Though I'm empty when you go." -The World Is Ugly, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.

His legs got okay enough for him to start therapy, his vitals started to tank and fluctuate drastically. He started to go in and out of sleep more, and we started to get scared. This one day, where we thought he might not make it, I moved my ring to my left hand. I felt like it was necessary. When I went to visit him that day, he was playing the cowboy guitar I'd brought him and he had been drawing in the journal I'd also brought him. When I walked into his room and wearily sat down next to him, he pointed out the ring. He asked why I'd moved it, and I told him I thought it was the right thing to do. I asked, "If you don't start to get better soon, would you be okay if I got a judge or ordained person in here to marry us?" He said with this huge grin, "No I would not." And then he moved his hand over his son and said, "Is it because of him?" I nodded softly and said, "I just don't want to not be remotely NOT with you. I figure the time I can have with you now is more important, and if I have your last name it will just be better." He nodded too, before he said he was tired but would wait because he wanted me to hear the song he'd been working on. The song was BEAUTIFUL, and after he'd finished playing it he said, "So he's getting pretty big now. I know I should know this, but he's how 'old' now?" I said, "4 almost 5 months. He's due in almost 5 months." Gerard said, "Wow. That's AMAZING and scary and crazy." I nodded before he fell back asleep still holding my hand. His song played through my head ALL day and ALL night, and I just LOVED it sooooooo much. It was called "The World Is Ugly" "These are the eyes and the lies of the taken
These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours
They burn 'cause they are all afraid
For every one of us, there's an army of them
But you'll never fight alone
'Cause I wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Well are you thinking of me now (now)
These are the nights and the lights that we fade in
These are the words but the words aren't coming out
They burn 'cause they are hard to say
For every failing sun, there's a morning after
Though I'm empty when you go
I just wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Are you thinking of me,
Like I'm thinking of you?
I would say I'm sorry, though
Though I really need to go
I just wanted you to know
I wanted you to know
I wanted you to know
I'm thinking of you every night, every day
These are the lies and the lives of the taken
These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours
They burn 'cause they are all afraid
When mine beats twice as hard
'Cause the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Are you thinking of me
Like I'm thinking of you
I would say I'm sorry, though
Though I really need to go
I just wanted you to know
That the world is ugly (I just wanted you to know)
But you're beautiful to me (I just wanted you to know)
Are you thinking of me
Stop your crying, helpless feeling
Dry your eyes and start believing
There's one thing they'll never take from you
(One day like this,
We'll never be the same
Never forever
Like ghosts in the snow
Like ghosts in the sun)"

The next few days he didn't wake up much, but I stayed there every day and sat with him no matter what. This one night as I was leaving, his main nurse stopped me asking if I was going to stay the night. I told her I might, but that I kinda wanted to go back home and sleep because I could only sleep on a chair for so long before it started to become hard. She agreed with me, but she told me that she'd told her kids about me and Gerard and they thought we were very brave and cute. She told me that she would have them make some cute decorations for Gerard's room. I ended up staying the night, and in the morning when I woke up, the room had been decorated and there was a bunch of red heart related things hanging down between and from my and Gerard's linked arms. It was perfect. He was so happy when he woke up that morning it was cute. While he ate his breakfast, his nurse pulled me aside and told me that tomorrow her mom wanted to come by and visit because she knew my Aunt Helena and had lit up when the nurse had mentioned how Aunt Helena was related to me and was visiting tomorrow. I said that was fine, but asked how they knew each other. I was told nothing.

The next day Aunt Helena showed up pretty early, and Gerard wasn't even up when she arrived. He woke up just as the nurse and her mom got there. Gerard ate his breakfast as I asked, "So how do you two know each other?" The nurse's mom said, "I was a nurse before I retired, and one of my most memorable patients knew your aunt." Aunt Helena said, "It's true. I was in your situation where my fiancé was in the hospital like this. He was in for almost a year. The reason I never got married or had kids is because he died. His body just gave out overnight one night, and I couldn't take it. The reason I took you in besides being your only family is that I knew what loss was like. I can't and won't let Gerard leave you because I lost mine and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. This nurse, *motioned to the older nurse* was with me whole time and she and I still keep in touch somewhat." Gerard smiled and said, "That's great. Sad, but great. I'm so sorry Helena. I promise I will get out of here soon, and be there for Allie and our son." She smiled and then Gerard fell asleep again. The next few weeks he started to slowly get better. By the time out son was at the end of 6 months 'old', Gerard actually got out of the hospital and into therapy. The day he came home, we actually brought him to my house. Aunt Helena and I had moved his stuff out into storage or into our house because he'd asked us to. We brought him home to our house, and brought him up to the guest room. We knew he needed space for his recovering legs, but he really wanted to be with me obviously. This one day he was tired and went to take a nap. I was tired too, so I went upstairs as well. As I walked past his room he begged me to nap with him. I tried to say no, but I just couldn't bring myself to. When Aunt Helena came upstairs she smiled at us because we were so PERFECT. By the end of the month he was walking again fully and he wasn't even in therapy anymore. The 1st thing we did then was get married. We got married in the backyard with all of our friends there, plus Aunt Helena. I didn't wear a dress, but Gerard still said I looked GORGEOUS!