May Death Never Stop You (Completed)

Chapter 1

"Stop your crying, helpless feeling. Dry your eyes, and start believing." -The World Is Ugly, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.
           "If I could be with you tonight, I would sing you to sleep, and never let them take the light behind your eyes." -The Light Behind Your Eyes, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.

If you haven't heard of My Chemical Romance, then that's PERFECTLY okay. Not too many people really care about a small band from Belleville New Jersey. Trust me NO ONE cares about them. But I do because they are only barely 2 years older than me and I go to the exact same high school they did. Now as everything's falling apart and I have to move to California and in with my Aunt Helena in the middle of my senior year, I just hope I've got enough MCR to help get me through. My friends all wish me luck and say, "Oh Allison. Allie. It'll be just fine. You'll be fine. California's fun, lots of new experiences, and ALL that sun. The beach, the bands, the BOYS, and I think MCR lives out there now. In fact they do. So you COULD like maybe hook up with one of them. But of course if that WERE to ACTUALLY happen I'd have to stop being your friend. But California will be fun. I'll miss you sure. But it'll be fun. Good Luck!" I try believing them, but it's hard after what's happened. I will go and be happy though, for my friends. What happened was my parents and I were all driving to visit my other Aunt, Marie, because she was sick with cancer. On the way there, in the torrential down pouring rain,  some dumb butt swerved right into us because he was looking at his phone while trying to eat a Big Mac. We then swerved off the road into a ditch with his car piling up over ours.  Then I remember the ambulance coming and the police and a few fire trucks. We were all taken to the hospital, and I only had a few minor cuts and bruises. My parents died a few weeks later from internal bleeding and major brain damage. The dumb butt didn't make it either. I escaped pretty much unscathed. The week after BOTH of my parents died, so did my Aunt Marie. The cancer finally ate her up and took her away from me. Since she was my only family living here and my grandparents ALL dead, I had no place to live but with my Aunt Helena in California. It was the VERY MIDDLE OF MY SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND I HAD TO MOVE TO Friggin CALIFORNIA TO LIVE WITH AN AUNT I KNEW BUT NOT TOO WELL! What the actual Frick?!? Why me?!? Why did this have to happen to ME of ALL people, and why NOW?!? UGGH!!! MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW!!!! But luckily I have my favorite local band, well they moved to LA after high school but they are still local to me, My Chemical Romance. They can get me through ANYTHING, LITERALLY ANYTHING, so that's what I listen to now. MCR and ONLY MCR!

Well, I've been holding on tonight, I'm seriously trying to keep calm and be okay. But that's REALLY hard when you've lost EVERYONE you ACTUALLY care about! What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay, aren't they? Maybe not. So long and goodnight, I'm going to rest soon so that I can dream them all still alive. There came a time when every star fall brought me to tears again. They are the very hurt I sold, and if I carry on this way, things are better if I stay, right? Are they? Again, so long and goodnight, I'm going to rest so that I can dream them all still alive. Can you hear me, are you near me? Can we pretend to leave and then we'll meet again, when both our cars collide. For real this time, so long and goodnight. I'm going to rest NOW so that I can dream them all still alive. So that all this pain and hurt and longing and loneliness can just disappear and fade away and I can feel happy again. So that I can pretend they are still here loving me and JUST BEING HERE! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE HERE?!? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR, TO HAVE MY PARENTS BACK?!? It can't be, It just can't be. I just don't see why it had to be me. But I REALLY need to go to bed because my friends and I are packing ALL of my stuff tomorrow to ship it out to California before I fly out 3 days from now to move in with "I barely know her" Aunt Helena.

As I wake up ALL of my 4 best friends are already packing things into boxes they have labeled. They made me breakfast and told me to eat in bed and then get dressed so I could help them. We finished our packing in just a day and 1/2, and then we shipped out all the boxes to California. Why did I really have to move out there? Why couldn't one of my friends take care of me? Oh yeah, because Cindy's mom works 2 jobs just to support them 2 and gets NO money from her deadbeat dad. Katie already lives with her crippled grandmother, and Maggie has a drunken dad and a scared mom. Oh, and Chris LITERALLY said her parents didn't want me because she already has like 5 other siblings so yknow. I have NO ONE here who will or can take care of me. That's right, NO ONE here really cares that much. Okay then, I guess It's off to California with Aunt Helena then. Goodbye Belleville New Jersey. I will miss you so much. Remember me please? I guess if you don't then it's okay, I just want someone who knew and loved me that I also knew and loved to remember me. Because let's face it, my friends are gonna move on in life and go off to college without me and most definitely forget ALL about me in a few months, years tops. I just want the reassurance that someone will remember me yknow. Someone, anyone at all, just remember me as the sad girl moving to California because ALL her family here died. But try not to remember or think of me that way because that's kinda bad and depressing. Just think of me as the girl who gets to move to sunny California with ALL its beaches and boys and bands and fun. Yeah, that's it. Think of me that way. That sounds great. But don't think I'm leaving Belleville happy, because I'm not. This is the hardest thing I have to do, and I'm not quite sure how I'll do it. I have to, but it DEFINITELY won't be easy. EVERYTHING I know is here, and now I have to leave it ALL behind for a life I don't really want. And I know it's not my fault, but I could have been paying attention and warned them of the dum butt who hit us. I could have reached over for the wheel and maybe swerved us in the right way to avoid him. I could have taken more advantage of my parents love before I lost them, but I didn't. And that's why I feel like it's my fault. The next few days I don't remember much except sitting on the mattress we had dragged out of the basement and put on my floor and crying. Nonstop crying until my eyes were blood shot and red and hurt. Crying until I couldn't talk because my throat hurt and if I did anything I'd start up again. My friends threw me a party a few weeks ago, but they all made efforts to try and visit/comfort me before I left.

Then I carried my 3 bags with me to the airport. I checked the largest one, and carried the other 2 with me. My eyes were still stained red and puffy and people kept giving me strange glances as I walked by to my gate. Today I had on black High-Tops and black skinny jeans and my red and black MCR shirt. I hadn't bothered to do my hair or makeup in a few days, so I looked like a corpse. I didn't care though because I was too upset to care. I fell asleep on the plane and I woke up just as we were about to land in California. I really wanted to be back home, but that couldn't happen now. All I had was this new life with Aunt Helena. We landed and I stood up to get my 2 bags from the overhead bin before waiting in the line to exit the plane. I almost cried getting off the plane because I didn't want to be there. But I suppressed my tears and sucked it up while I walked to baggage claim. I found my bag pretty quickly, and then I spotted Aunt Helena. I ran to her as fast as I could and dropped my bags at our feet. Then I hugged her as tightly as humanly possible before I broke down in a full fledged crying/panic attack. She held me tight and told me she was so sorry and that it would all be okay. Then she grabbed my 2 largest bags and with her arm still around me walked me to her car. I cried the whole way to her house, and shed figured I would have so she made me cookies and hot chocolate. She was being so nice and I didn't really know what to do. She brought me up to my room which already had my stuff sitting in boxes in it. She spent the next few days unpacking and setting up my stuff for me because I was too upset to do it myself. After we had my bed set up I crawled into it and didn't get out for the rest of the week. Some nights I would feel this longing as if my parents were still there in the room. I know this isn't true, but it felt real. It was like I could feel the ghost's of them right there in my room. I hated not being with them and I wanted to so badly, but I couldn't. Aunt Helena was always so nice about that fact and she made sure I knew I would be okay here. The next week school was to start up again, and I REALLY didn't want to go. The day it started I was dragged out of bed and forced to eat breakfast. I wore the same now washed outfit I'd flown here in, but I did my hair and makeup to look nice. She dropped me off at the front doors to the school, and I walked in to get my schedule and all that. As I was walking in I noticed a boy, short, who I thought I knew. I hadn't ever really talked to the guy I thought it was, but he somehow knew who I was. He stopped me saying, "Allie? Allison Thomson? Wow, I didn't know you went here. Why are you here, I thought you still lived in Belleville? Oh yeah, and I'm Frank. Frankie Iero. I'd assume you remember me because of that shirt *looking at my MCR shirt*" I said, "Hi Frank. Didn't you hear the news about what happened?" He said, "Oh yeah. I'm so sorry about that. I hope you are doing okay." I said, "I guess. What brings YOU here?" He said all giddy, "My girlfriend. She's in your grade, senior right?" I nodded and he said, "Her names Katherine. She's hella cool. Maybe when she gets here you guys can meet and like maybe be friends or something. I think you'd like her." Just then Katherine walked up and kissed Frank before asking who I was. Frank said, "This is Allison Thomson. She used to live in Belleville and went to the same high school as the band. She's a HUGE fan of ours, and we all kinda knew her. She had a pretty tragic event, don't ask, happen and now she's finishing her senior year up here. Maybe you guys could be friends? Sound cool Kat?" Kat nodded and volunteered to show me to my classes. I was so glad to have run into Frank and to have made a friend, maybe California wasn't so bad after all.