Reason To Sing (Sequel to TGASUH) (Jardougall)

5- Talking Our Feelings Out

Jenna's P.O.V.

"What're you thinking about?"

I adjusted a bit where I was laying. For way too long, Tay had been the only thought on my mind. Courtney looked at me from where she was removing her makeup in the mirror and bit her lip.

"Are you thinking about Tay?"

"Babe, no," I said quickly. She let out a breath of relief and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Then what's on your mind?"

I gave a shrug. "Just stressed about the wedding, that's all," I lied. It wasn't entirely a lie. The idea of getting married scared me enough as it is, especially at almost twenty-five and with Courtney.

"So, it's not just me," she said. She made her way over and sat down beside me on the bed, playing with her fingernails. We remained in silence for a bit. "Should we go through with this?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "You're having doubts?"

"Jen, it's a lot of money and preparation..."

"Then why don't we just get married at City Hall? We can have a small reception here and we don't have to spend a whole bunch of money on it." I wasn't sure where my words were coming from. This was just going to erase all of her doubts and ease the stress of the wedding, which meant the date would come closer.

Courtney bit her lip again. "And we just only invite family and close friends?" I nodded and she gave a small smile. "I think that'd be great."

She tackled me with a quick kiss before hopping off to brush her teeth. Our night was spent together, quiet and comforting; or I assumed it was supposed to be comforting. But I was stewing in stress, and Courtney was the absolute opposite. A few times in the night I got up to catch my breath in the bathroom, and splash some water on my face.

Before I could go back to bed again, I grabbed my phone and thought to myself. It was two in the morning, and I wasn't necessarily sure if I wanted to call. Maybe it would be good; she would be asleep, so I could just leave a message and not actually have to talk to her. But I really wanted to talk to her...

The phone rang a few times. Each one made me a little more anxious. Halfway through the sixth ring, it clicked, and I took in a breath. She was awake.

"Hey," she greeted. Her voice was tired and scratchy, but coated with worry. "What's wrong?"

I took in a breath that released in the shakiest it ever had. "I just need some kind of reassurance and I called you," I explained. "I don't know why I called you of all people." I had made my way downstairs to the living room now, and I heard Tay move a bit on the other side.

"Reassurance about what?"

I sighed. "The wedding."

"Oh." We stayed quiet for a bit. "What's going on? I thought things were going well."

"No, they are. Well, uh... We decided not to have a big wedding. We're gonna legalize it at the courthouse, and have a small reception at my place. But I'm just having doubts... I guess I just need someone to tell me that I'm not going to regret going through with this, because all signs are pointing to it."

"What signs?"

"The ones that are all reminding me of how I feel with you. How in love with you I am. How I would rather have a City Hall wedding with you than with anyone else in the world. It's fucking with my thoughts, Tay."

She let out a deep breath. "Why are you letting your feelings trip you out so much? A relationship with feelings between us is far in the past, and there was a reason you proposed to Courtney in the first place. I mean, unless a part of you had a feeling she would say no?"