Thousand Year Switch

Chapter 28

 I found Aden in the hallway, leaning in the doorway to the chapel, rubbing at her red eyes.

"Hey," I said quietly, and she looked up and gave me a watery smile.

"Sorry about that."

"Are you okay?" I hesitated. I stunk at this sort of thing. "Do you...want to talk about it?"

To my relief she gave me a grateful smile. "I..it was my brother. I mean, not the one who just took a death. That was someone else. My brother did what he did a long time ago, ages ago." She turned to look up at the chapel ceiling, studying the heavy iron chandlers thoughtfully. "He was in love with a Malake." She grimaced. "Stupid boy."

"I guess...guessing it didn't end well?"

She shook her head. "Sloan forbade his Malake to associate with us. He punished the girl, said if he ever heard of him going to her again, he would make sure she was killed. My brother felt he couldn't live without her, so he didn't."

My mouth dropped open. "Holy crap..."

"That's the type of person Sloan is. That's why I hate him so much." She looked back down, then turned to look at me. "That's why I just lumped you in with him at first. I mean, you were the next Benevolant, so I expected you to be just as bad. Sloan is the only God I've ever known, so I thought you were all like that."

"I'm not a God," I muttered, "and I'm not like him."

She looked away. "Not yet."

I stared at her in horror. "Aden, I'm not ever going to be like that. From what I've heard about him, Sloan was a dick before the switch, and he stayed that way. I'm not a dick...I –I hope you don't think I am anyways..."

She smiled at me. "You're not."

"Well, thanks." I shook my head, wishing I could make her stop crying somehow, wishing I could make her happy. "That's the nicest compliment anyone's ever given me."

Aden laughed a little and then hiccuped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall apart on you like that."

She'd taken a step closer. We were facing one another, and I was sorely tempted to reach out and touch her cheek, to brush away her tears with my thumb like I was in some cheesy romance movie. "It's okay. I'm sorry about your brother."

"Thanks." Aden rubbed her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt as we walked back down the hall.

We stopped in front of the confessional booths. "Hey." I grinned. "I forgot to explore these." I pushed the heavy velvet curtain away and peered inside the middle one. "Woah, cool."

The booth was divided, and one half was enclosed, a kind of window of narrow wooden slats divided the sections.

"Want to know what priesthood was like?" Aden pulled the handle on the narrow door and it creaked open.

"Okay, let's see." I stepped in and she shut the door behind me. It was suddenly dark, penetrated by the vertical slashes of light that shone through the slats.

"Wow," it's tiny in here. And sort of stuffy." I rapped my knuckles on one of the wood panels. "It's like some kind of holy sauna."

Aden's face appeared in front of the slats. "Bless me father for I have sinned," she joked.

I laughed. "Tell me everything."

"No way!"

I knew she was grinning now, I could hear it in her voice, but it was hard to see her face through the thin strips between the wood. I guess it served as some measure of privacy while you were dishing the dirt. 

"You know," Aden's voice was quieter, more serious. "I probably shouldn't be doing what I'm doing."

"What?" I felt my heart beat a little bit faster.

Aden continued after a moment. "I mean, it can't be smart, hanging out with the future Benevolent. Getting attached isn't smart."

I didn't know what to say. My heart was galloping now. I desperately wanted to see her face, but I was afraid to move, to ruin everything. Aden hesitated.

"I've never...liked anyone before, not like this. Malake ha-Mawet live for a long time, we're not like humans. Everything is much more casual, unfeeling even. Honestly, I didn't know I could actually feel...that way. And I don't want to...I-"

"Do the same thing your brother did," I said, my stomach sinking in disappointment. "Look, Aden, it doesn't have to end that way. I...I'll be different."

She was silent, and I worried I'd sounded too eager. What a moron. I was so bad at this type of stuff.

"I'm worried. Maybe you won't be a jerk, but maybe you won't be the same either," she stammered. "I don't know what will happen when you...become. When you inherit the knowledge."

"You mean I won't be myself." My heart sank, and I was suddenly absolutely terrified. It was one thing to talk about it earlier with Beefcake and Morgan, who sounded so matter of fact about it, Aden on the other hand, sounded frightened. And that scared the shit out of me. "Aden?" I said in panic. "You mean I won't be myself?"

She hesitated way too long before answering. "I don't know."

I came bolting out of the booth, stopped. She was standing there, tears in her eyes again, and I finally broke down and did what I wanted to do, partly because I wanted to comfort her and partly because I needed someone to cling to right now. I gathered her in my arms and held her, taking in the smell of her shampoo, the feeling of her hair tickling my face, her cheek wet on my neck. I shouldn't have worried about her rejecting me, because she clung to me just as tightly.

"Aden," I let her name linger on my lips, tasted it.

"Hm?"

"Will you...will you stay with me? Tonight?"

She looked up at me with wide eyes "Lucas, I..."

"Not that way," I said hastily. "Just... be with me. Until tomorrow."

Tomorrow. We both thought it again, silently, had been thinking it all day. If I even made it to the switch, if we stopped Sloan and it all when off without a hitch. Then tomorrow I would become...who?