alice; book two {5sos}

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this is the sequel to my 5sos horror fic, wonderland! if you haven't read that yet then go and read book 1 and give it some love!!!

let's do this thing

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i pull my tattered and previously worn jeans over my bandage, squinting in agony as i button them up. it's been a week today.

it's friday and the memorial is sunday. my world has been turned upside down, and i have had no choice but to turn with it. i don't feel myself; everybody is persistently asking me how i am or if i need anything. i always shake my head and sigh, politely saying i'm doing fine and that i don't need anything. all i need is luke, and my best friends.

my therapy starts tuesday and the prospect of sitting infront of a specialist and pouring my heart to them feels daunting. i keep getting updates about the investigation, however it's already plummeting to a dead end.

when the police search party arrived at the abandoned fairground, the premises were desolate. they were eerily quiet, like it was all a clouded nightmare. no bodies were to be found and the two rabbits had disappeared without leaving a trace. it was almost like they had fallen into a rabbit hole and taken all of the pain inflicted bodies with them.

i slept ten minutes that saturday morning before i was asked to slip on my shoes and get in the car. it was about eight when my mum and i had left the hospital with a clean bandage and made our way to the police station. i was told i would need additional care afterwards however i was in a stable state and it was vital i explained the happenings to the authorities.

my mum already called the police and told them i kept muttering something about the fairground. she explained my wounds and my dishevelled state, and they took no hesisation in allowing search parties to pour into abandoned fairground. especially after the reports of the two brothers going missing there, they couldn't take any precautions.

i was in hysterics and it felt like my whole body was slowly deteriorating from within. i was broken, and i still am, as i explained everything through my tears.

i had to tell the police about how they made us die, one by one, infront of each other. they threw us into their twisted games, starting with calum becoming lifeless first. i had to explain every death, but it was a struggle. it was all a blur.

they made us go against each other in the most brutal and twisted way, and when it came to explaining hadley's death, i told them that they shot her. right in the head, between her eyesbrows near the soft and panicked frown that distorted her face.

i even spilled about my rape. i haven't had much time to think about any of the happenings specifically since it all feels a never ending blur. but they told me, with a concerned eyes, that they would be giving me a rape test kit to further their investigation in confirming their assumptions that it's the two brothers.

i was told to stay inside and that the police would often check up on me, however they were almost certain i was safe. how can they be so sure? they could take their masks off and blend in with the ordinary world, ready to snatch me away from my comforts.

and if they did this, i would never see another sun rising again.

today i have been granted permission to leave the house, after a long and exhausting week. i feel empty and there are constantly tears gathering in my eyes, yet i'm just about cried out. the first few days i allowed my salty tears to fill up my lungs and drown me from within. i felt awful as i stayed in bed, my empty eyes tracing the pattern of my wallpaper.