alice; book two {5sos}

1.7

"fuck you!" i shriek without any hesistation. i've lost all train of thought as i begin to fall apart at kian's feet. the worry i feel for luke is consuming me and i don't need this.

kian sighs, his dark eyes staring into mine. for a split second, i see the jealousy. "fuck you." i lowly say again, my arm jerking as i hear a sliding noise beside me.

kian lunges forward at me, cutting through the thick air. as soon as i know what he is reaching for i shove him away with my hands to his chest and grab the gun myself.

"it's yours." the rabbit says from the other side of the table.

"no, soph." i hear luke choke out beside me.

"i don't know what has got into you, kian." i say through my tears as i shakily grasp onto the gun.

my thoughts are everywhere. i feel like i have gloved hands and a rabbit mask upon my head.

"i don't know what has got into you," kian tentatively says as he raises his hands in surrender. "sophia, put the gun down." he says with shocked, wide eyes.

"i'm sick of this," i hear myself shrieking. "i'm sick of this! i'm losing people in my life and the ones i still have are betraying me." i cry out, lifting the gun up. in a split second i know it would be easier to shoot him and live with the guilt than to sit here and watch luke lose touch with the world.

if i shoot kian, then that's another obstacle out of my way. i'm thinking irrationally, i know. i might be able to get luke out quicker; kian might stop luke. the rabbits might stop me, but who has the power in their hands now?

i feel like i'm become nuts and entirely over the bend. i'm a psycho, i must be.

kian begins to stand up to cower away from me as i raise the gun, the aim shaking as my hands begin to sweat.

"sophia, no. i'm your fucking boyfriend." he says with a shaky and unsettled voice. suddenly, everything has become reality for him. his cocky, unphased facade has been pulled away from him and i'm enjoying his weak state.

i adjust my fingers around the gun as i hear luke gasp behind me.

i turn around, my heart in my throat. he is still awake, his blue eyes almost dazzling as he stares at me. i see the relief in his eyes too. i see the potential i could have with this gun and i also see the darkness that will foreshadow my remorse.

however, as i turn around, i realise what he gasped at.

the blood pouring from kian's head at a slow and painful pace is sickening. the flashbacks of me shooting hadley alternate between luke and i as the rabbit's laughter fills the tea party.

"i-" i'm speechless as my grip loosens around the gun and it falls to my feet. why did i do this? why do i keep doing this? "fuck." i begin to sob, feeling the gun being picked up at my feet. i spin around, trying erase the boy i thought i loved for over a year out of my mind.

luke is grasping onto the gun, his knuckles white with desperation. he points it directly at the two rabbits as soon as he begins to adjust his fingers around the gun, i know this may well be it. without any speaking, luke pulls the trigger.

"no!" one of the rabbits yells, their voice of a higher pitch all of a sudden.

the bullet tears through the head of the mask, another bullet causing blood to begin soaking his crisp white shirt. my terrified screams ring in my ears. i glance back at kian, feeling everything collapsing around me again.

i need to get out. the room seems to be closing in with the overwhelming concept of freedom.

"luke, fire again!" i shriek, grasping onto his arm. he pulls the trigger again, nothing happening.

"fuck," luke murmers. "fuck!" he shouts louder, tossing the gun across the room. "i- i used two bullets on one of them to make sure."

i turn to luke, his skin as white as sheets and the blood drying on his chin resulting in me wrapping my arms around him.

i don't want to believe this, but the truth is pushing its way to the front of my mind. time is slipping away and i need him now, more than anything.

the other rabbit has collapsed to the floor,  the blood pooling around him on the floor. kian and bryana sit beside me too, bloody and lifeless. it's like a blood bath in here.

i continue to cry, my shrieks dividing up my sobs. i bury my face into luke's t-shirt, smelling his familiar smell and holding him tighter. he rests his forehead against the top of my head in a loving way, causing my heart to shatter into millions of pieces; i think this may be it for us.

i stare back up at him, his glazed eyes that are like the swirl of a torrent telling me everything without speaking a single world. however, something catches his eye. i'm pushed forward, my back colliding with the floor. i immedietly pick myself back up to witness the rabbit climbing over the table, my heart being pulled down with an anchor.

pretty pastel tea cups are effortlessly crushed, their shards scattered among the table cloth.

i cannot hear anything but my scream. i'm dazzled by the metallic blade of the knife which is immedietly pushing luke up against the glistening wall.

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fuckskd