A Series of Firsts (A Matthew Gray Gubler FanFiction)

The First Kiss

Alex watched as her hand visibly shook. She reached for the handle of the door but pulled her hand back. She tried to stop the shaking but nothing seemed to be working. She reached for the handle again, trying to push down her nervousness. When Matthew had called her earlier that morning, she hadn't been sure what to expect, but him asking her to meet him at a coffee shop was the last thing.

She forced herself to walk through the now open door. The smells, the furniture, the paintings on the wall, all of it was so familiar. This was their place. This was the place where they spent many hours, mostly together. She took a deep breath, the smell of the roasted beans and steamed milk filled her senses. She closed her eyes for an instant, flashbacks overwhelmed her. She approached the friendly barista behind the counter and gave her the order. As she waited for her drink, her eyes darted around the room. She had beaten him here. She almost always beat him. Her name was called out and she grabbed her coffee, walking over to 'their' corner. Sitting down, facing the door, she leaned back.

"What do you want to drink?" Matthew looked over at her.

She glanced up at him, "The usual."

"I don't even know why I ask," His laughter filled the small shop, mingling with the other sounds.

Alex pushed her hair behind her ear as she continued to flip through the script he had handed her. "Are you really considering doing this film?" She took the cup from his hands.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, what do you think?"

"I'm thinking that if you have the time, why not?"

That had been their norm. They'd meet here on Saturday mornings for coffee and one another's company. They had grown close after their date at the drive-in. They'd continued to go on dates. They'd talked, they'd texted, and they'd started to become fast friends. Alex had wondered though it if was going to go beyond just a really good friendship.

Alex sat up with the sound of the jingling bell above the door. A stranger walked in. She sighed and closed her eyes once more.

Alex giggled as she read the text message she had just received from him. One of the things that she had grown to really like about him was his ability to always make her laugh. And he was always making her laugh. She quickly replied and turned her attention back to the ground beef she had cooking away on the stove. Matthew was expected to arrive within the next hour and she felt as if she was nowhere near done with dinner.

She read over her list one more time, mentally checking items off in her head. She was grateful that he had volunteered to bring dessert and drinks, though he wouldn't tell her what he was bringing. After weeks of wondering if they would ever be anything more than friends, he had suggested that they do dinner. He had originally stated that it should be at his place but Alex had wanted to cook for him, so she asked if he would be willing to come to her. He'd agreed, of course, but only if he could contribute something.

She had just taken the toasty bread out of the oven when the doorbell rang. She quickly wiped her hands off on a nearby kitchen towel and made her way to her front door.

"Good evening handsome," She grinned as his face came into her view.

He held his hand out, a beautiful bouquet of roses were clutched in his fist. Alex took them from him, holding them up to her nose and taking a deep breath. As her face was buried in the scented petals, Matthew moved past her into the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

"These are beautiful," She glanced up at him and shyly smiled. "Let me put them in some water. Make yourself comfortable."

"Do you have a corkscrew?" He instead followed her into the quaint kitchen. She nodded and reached into a drawer, handing him the simple tool. He watched as she reached above her, pulling a vase from an open cupboard. Her fluid movements were mesmerizing and he found himself keeping his eyes on her, instead of on the task of opening the bottle in front of him.

"Would you like some help with that," She placed the roses on the counter, her eyes on him.

He shook his head, embarrassed that she'd caught him staring. "Naw, I'm fairly certain I can handle this, but I know who to call if I get stuck." He heard her chuckle as he proceeded to pull the stubborn cork from the neck of the bottle.

The smells filled the air and Matthew's stomach growled, loudly. He picked up the bottle and the two wine glasses she had placed near him and followed her to the table. The food not only smelled delicious, it looked mouth-watering. His stomach growled again.

"I'm glad that my food is eliciting the correct response out of you," She sat first, the smile she wore not waning.

"My stomach is just letting you know that it approves, already. Would you like some wine?" As she nodded, he poured two glasses and passed one to her. As he sat next to her, he continued to hold his glass out, "To friendship, to new beginnings and to a new found romance."

Their glasses clinked together. Alex dished out the food and at first, they ate in silence. Slowly, the conversation grew and they quickly found themselves easing into the comfort.

As dinner neared the end, Alex tipped her head to the side her eyes narrowing at him slightly, "So um...new found romance?"

He looked slightly confused before he quickly nodded, "Well, isn't that what this is? I mean, this is more than just a friendship Alex. I know that you think the same thing...I just," He stopped, his hands started to fidget with the glass.

She reached out and placed her smaller hand on his, "You're just shy, unsure, and lack the confidence it takes to tell me how you really feel." She grinned, her fingers wrapping around his. "Matthew, you could have told me, one doesn't always need words." She tugged on his hand, pulling him closer. "Sometimes, it is the smallest of gestures that speak the loudest." She inched towards him; her fingers had released his hand and were sliding up his arm, slowly. "Sometimes Matthew," She was close to him, his breath warm on her skin, his hazel eyes devoured her face. "Sometimes, you just have to show, instead of tell, someone how you feel." She closed the distance and pressed her lips to his. She felt him hesitate before he returned the pressure, his lips moving against hers.

His hands grabbed her arms, pulling her to him. Dinner forgotten for the moment as the two became locked together in a passionate embrace. Alex broke first but leaned her forehead against his, "See Matthew, that wasn't so hard now, was it?"

He laughed and kissed her gently, "You are a take charge kind of girl and I'm thinking that's a good thing."

Alex opened her eyes, lifting her arm into her line of sight, checking her watch for the time. She sighed heavily. She'd forgotten just how un-punctual he really was. Maybe he wasn't going to show up. Maybe he had forgotten. He was known to be quite forgetful at times, or even mess up the dates. But, he had just asked her this morning to meet him here. She shook her head, no, he'd be here.

She picked up her coffee and took a sip, holding it in her hands, letting the warmth seep into her, and the aroma fill her anxious senses. She let her eyes wander the small shop. There were several people scattered around the space. People sitting alone, others surrounded by a groups of friends. There were a few couples, sitting close together, their arms or legs touching, the smallest gesture, letting the other know just how much they were liked. Alex missed those small signals. She missed having a larger hand that hers fit perfectly within. She missed the smell of his shampoo, of his soap. She missed the way he'd laugh at his own stupid jokes. She missed him. A small tear trickled down her cheek. She reached up and swiped it away with her finger. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. What was seeing him after all this time going to do to her?

She set her cup back down as she stood, grabbing her sweater off the back of the chair. She slung it over her shoulders, pushing one arm, then the other through the holes. She picked up her purse, digging through to find her sunglasses. Finally, she bent over and grasped the cup in her hand, standing up and moving around the small table.

The bell over the door jingled again. Alex's eyes atomically went to the source of the sound and she stopped dead in her tracks.