A Series of Firsts (A Matthew Gray Gubler FanFiction)

The First Hurt

Alex sat down on the opposite side of the couch. She never thought she'd have to repeat this conversation but here she was, about to rehash the worst moments of her life. His eyes were on her. They felt like they were seeing into her soul. He always had a way of reading her, reading her better than anyone ever had.

"So, um..." Alex starred down at her lap.

"I know that you've told me everything, but it was all done in such a rush and then you disappeared." Matthew tapped her leg with his foot, causing her glance up at him.

"You are not the easiest guy to break up." Alex stated simply.

"If that's the case, then why did you leave me?"

"Why would you have wanted to stay with me after what I did?" Alex could feel the emotions start to bubble up and she fought to push them back down.

"See, that's where I get confused. What exactly did you do? Things had been going so well."

"Things had been going well, and then I took that job and things started to fall apart. I was never home and you started to hang out with all of those..." Alex paused, "With that woman."

Alex walked through the front door of the home she had been sharing with Matthew for the last couple of years. She was excited to tell him her good news, news that she had been working hard on acquiring over the last few weeks. She set her bag down on the couch as she passed through to the kitchen. She glanced around the room, and quietly listened to the sounds. She soon realized that the place was empty. He hadn't made it home yet from the set.

She walked over and opened the fridge, peering inside, looking for anything that could be made into dinner. As she was scanning the contents, she started to evaluate the last few years she'd spent with Matthew. She smiled as the moments played through her mind. She truly did love him.

She pulled out a few things and started chopping and dicing and preparing dinner for the two of them. She was elbows deep in cutting up vegetables, when the front door opened and seconds later shut.

"Gube..." Alex shouted, "I've started dinner."

His head appeared in the doorway, "Good, because I'm starving. Sorry that I'm late."

She watched as he disappeared around the corner and could hear his footsteps echo down the hallway. She stirred the sauce and thought about how to break the news to him. A few minutes later, he was plopped down on one of the stools, his elbows perched on the counter.

"So, you said earlier today that you had some news." He reached over and snatched up a piece of celery.

Alex stopped cutting and set the knife aside, "Remember when I was telling you about the opportunity for me to move up, step into movies? Well, I got a call today and I've been offered a job on a big movie production. It's a huge step up for me and a big bump in pay."

Matthew stopped; mid-reach and just stared at her. He was quiet for several moments, "Are you staying in LA?"

Alex shook her head, "This is where it gets sticky, it requires me to be on set and that's going to be across the country. Look, Matthew, it's only going to be for a few months and then I'll be back."

His face had fallen and Alex didn't like how quiet he was being.

"Matthew, you didn't think I was going to stay at Criminal Minds, did you?"

He just nodded his head.

Matthew looked over at her, "She was just a friend Alex."

She tilted her head, "I know that now but at the time, I honestly believe that you were replacing me, pushing me out of your life."