So yea, I changed the name of this story, because I think this fits it better. Sorry for any errors...Pleeeeaaasssseeee vote, if it is not too much trouble. Enjoy :) Xx.
My weekend went by painfully slow. I had nothing to do. No homework, I did not want to read, I had no patience to write. All I did was sit around and feel sorry for myself. It was very pathetic. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fight with Harry. I told him to leave me alone, and to never talk to me again. But he would not listen, would he? He will talk to me. He has to. How could we just “forget” this?
Although I was optimistic that he would cool off, I knew that in the back of my mind that he would not. He had not tried to contact me all weekend. Maybe he just needs some time.
I can’t believe myself, how I care so much about him, and how he was feeling. He looked extremely hurt when I told him to leave. I really did push him too far. But I was hurt too. I couldn’t believe he knew that I had some…issues…with myself. I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself.
I tried to get some sleep, but I just couldn’t. I knew I would be immensely tired for school the next morning, but I couldn’t put my thoughts to rest. I had no idea what to think at one time, it was a mess in my head.
I knew that I should try to at least talk to Harry, maybe try to make things right, but I was too stubborn. He was at fault here too. But I knew he would not make the first move either, because his pride would not let him.
I can’t believe how depressed I am over Harry. We have known each other not even a full three weeks, and I had let him take over every single one of my thoughts. Maybe it was because we were so different, and could never get along. Yea, that’s it, I reassured myself. You are just trying to figure out why you two cannot be friends. Or maybe you might care for him more than you had planned on, said my subconscious. I pushed the thought into my head, knowing that letting my true feelings out would drive me insane.
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I awoke the next morning, overly tired, like expected, since I had only gotten a few hours of sleep. Even if I wasn’t thinking, I was too busy feeling numb.
I did not want to go to school today. This was something I never thought I would say. I loved school, and learning, even enjoyed the homework part of it. But I was dreading seeing Harry. I wonder if he thought about me over the weekend.
I put on some baggy sweat pants, a white tank top, and a grey hoodie on top. I looked horrendous. I put on some cover up on my face. I know I said I hated wearing makeup, but the bags under my eyes were too much to look at. I skipped doing my hair, quickly braiding it down my back loosely.
Slipping on my black converse, I walked downstairs. I finished my granola bar, and politely asked Roo if it was okay to use her car today. She handed me the keys and I left the house.
I drove slow, knowing that I would be at school a bit earlier than normal. There were a few parking spots taken, mostly by the teachers, I guessed. I sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to think. I was exhausted. I was carrying heavy guilt on my conscious for talking to Harry the way I had Friday night. I knew it was wrong. I had never fought with anyone like that before. No one had really made me want to scream at them before, not even my father when he said he was leaving my mom and I.
I took a few deep breaths and got out of the car. I would be ten minutes early for class. Usually I would have no problem being there early, but today I wanted to spend the least amount of time possible at this school.
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My classes dragged on, but it was finally lunch. I knew I needed to eat something. I could not take on this day with the little energy I had. I texted Sophie to meet me in the lunchroom. I wanted to talk to her about what happened, but I also felt like I keep bothering her with all of my…Harry problems.
I waited in the line to buy food. My mind was telling me no, as I picked up a small salad and apple juice, but my body was disagreeing with my mind. I had zero level of self control today.
I looked around the cafeteria. Harrys friends were sitting together, at their usual table, but no sign of Harry. My eyes landed on where Sophie was sitting and made my way to her.
“Hey, Belles.” She greeted warmly. “You look terrible.” She scrunched up her nose.
“I know.” I gave her a small smile, pulling out my seat. I took a small sip of my juice.
“Well, aren’t you going to tell me what happened?” She asked.
“I don’t want to keep bothering you with my problems.” I admitted.
“Belle, we are friends! And this is what friends are for.” I was thankful to have someone I could talk to, especially now. Maybe she could tell me how I was supposed to feel, and act in this situation, because I had no clue.
I began to tell her about everything that happened with Harry. She listened intently, never interrupting. It felt good to talk to someone. I took a deep breath as I finished speaking, and she bit down onto her lip.
“Wow Bella,” She gently laughed. “You have been a busy girl.”
“I feel so terrible, Sophie. Like it is all my fault.”
“Do not think like that, Belles. I mean, I guess you could have handled the situation a bit better, but you were upset. But Harry is to blame also. You guys are very…intense. Maybe you should try to talk to him?” She suggested and I shook my head.
“I told him that I never wanted to speak to him again. And plus, I would not know what to say.” I mumbled.
“I really do not know what to tell you, Bella.” She said sympathetically. “You need to do whatever you think is right.”
“Have you seen him today?” I asked her.
“No, can’t say I have. He probably didn’t show up.” Sophie shrugged. I was a little relived that he did not come to school today, but could not help think that he was going to great lengths to avoid me.
The bell rung, indicating that lunch was over. I gave Sophie a hug, thanking her for putting up with all of my emotions, and we separated, heading off to class.
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My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach when I walked into English class and saw Harry sitting in his regular spot. My feet felt heavy as I made my way to my seat. I wanted him to look at me, to even send glares at me, but I might as well have not existed.
The whole period was extremely awkward. I could not concentrate on the lesson. My body was stiff the entire time. Harry did not even try to glance at me. But I don’t know why I was upset at him for not making any form of contact with me, I mean, I had told him to stay away.
Should I still apologize? Would we try to…be friends again?
The bell rung and Harry quickly stood up. Without thinking, I reached my arm out towards his, and slightly tugged him back. What the Hell am I doing? He froze, but did not turn around.
“Harry,” I breathed, my voice shaking. “Can we talk, please?” He turned his head half way, and nodded. I followed him out of class and out to the parking lot. He walked fast, and I found myself almost out of breathe trying to keep up with him.
“What do you want?” He snapped, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, along with a lighter. He placed the cigarette in between his lips, and brought the lighter up to light it.
I took a big breath. “I am sorry, Harry.” I said.
“For what?” He squinted his eyes at me.
“For trying to push you into telling me something you clearly did not want to. And for yelling at you.”
He took a drag of his cigarette, and exhaled the smoke. I wanted to tell him not to smoke around me, because it was disgusting, but this probably was not the right time.
“Yea, okay.” He replied, his voice calm.
“Okay?” I asked. “Do you have something to add?”
He shook his head. “See you around.” He said, and walked away.
Okay.
