Catch Me If You Can (Sequel to To Find You)

We Love Until We Die

"Life is beautiful. We love until we die."

                                                          Life Is Beautiful: Vega4

"And how does that make you feel?" she asked curiously, writing down notes on the paper lying on her desk. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose. Her blonde hair sprayed back into a tight bun, no wisps to be found. I wondered how long it had taken to get it that perfect.

Was it really that easy for others to be perfect? Was it actually that easy to be accepted and loved, and I had just been overlooking it this entire time? Did she have the inside scoop on what to do and what to wear and how to act?

 I waited a moment before answering honestly. "Honestly? Like a piece of shit."

 Someone's hand squeezed mine. I didn’t know whose it was considering I was squished between two grown "men" to an extent.

 "How does it make you feel like that?" she asked once more.

 "How does it make me feel like that? Well, that's the thing. I don't know what makes me feel like that Miss. And if I knew I would've told you by now," I snapped back.

 An arm was wrapped around my shoulders and grasped my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. I felt like I was suffocating and drowning at the same time. Like there was no air to breathe. Not enough for me to even open up my mouth to answer any more of her questions. My knuckles turned white from clenching my hands into fists on my knees. I let out a deep breath as a small tan hand unclenched my own and began to massage it. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and asked a question I knew I would regret in a couple of minutes.

 "Um, can they... um?" I motioned my head towards the locked  door. Louis's hand froze in my own and clenched it tightly.

 Was I really that crazy that he didn’t want me to be myself? He didn’t want to leave me alone, let alone with another person? A professional for that matter? Did he think I was unfixable?

 I guess someone noticed that I was thinking too hard because my face was guided towards another’s and lips were pressed to mine. It was chaste, but enough. He cupped my face in his hands. "You sure?" he asked with his eyes, uncertain. I nodded confidently. "There's just some stuff I need to face on my own, H," I whispered. He clenched his jaw but relaxed his face when I told him I loved him. “I love you too, Vie," he kissed my cheek and stood up, walking out the door, hands stuffed in his pockets. Lou kissed me on the top of my head and followed him out too, closing the door behind him.

 The therapist looked back at me. "Is there a specific reason you decided for them to leave?"

 "It... It felt kind of suffocating for them to be around me. Especially while I was saying what was on my mind."

 "I can understand that. Sometimes it's best for loved ones not to know."

 "Yeah, I wish now that they didn’t."

 'Why do you say that?"

 "Because if they didn't, then maybe I would be able to forget about it, you know? Like somehow it would disappear without resurfacing every single time I look into any of the boy's eyes."

 "So all the boys know?"

 "Well, sort of. Like I think they do. I know Liam does, because he came with Harry. But I don't know if Niall or Zayn know. They might have a vague idea but I'm not positive on the specifics."

 "But Louis and Harry...?"

 "They know everything. Especially Louis."

 "How long have you lived with Louis?"