Doubt (Book 1) {COMPLETED}

Vivian

*Abby's POV*

I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing loudly in my ears. I looked at the time and it was 1:47 pm. My head hurt and I felt dizzy. "Hello," I answered rubbing my eyes. The call was from Bianca asking me if I was okay.

I hung up after a little chat and got undressed for a shower. After my shower I got dressed and headed downstairs. "Hey Abbs. How do you feel?" My mom asked. I shrugged my shoulders in reply and smiled. "Luckily Cameron brought you home safe and sound," she said.

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. "W-w-wait....... Cam brought me home?," I asked furrowing my brows. "Yyyeeeaaahh?" Answered my mom. "Do you not remember? Or were you too stoned and drunk to remember?" My mom said angrily. "No... I-I don't remember. And I'm sorry. I just.... Never mind," I said and headed upstairs.

"I changed out of my clothes into black leggings and cuffed them up, a baseball-t, and my white hightop vans. I grabbed my phone and bag then headed downstairs. "I'm heading out," I said on my way out of the door. "Wait, don't you want late breakfast?" She asked. "Um, no thanks. I'll make a run to Starbucks or something. Bye mom," I shouted as I left out the door.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I just was hoping to see Cam. Not talk to him, but just see him. I walked to Starbucks and got myself a Vanilla Bean Frappe and 2 chocolate cake pops. 

I made my way to the mall hoping to see if him and his friends were there. I walked into Volcom hoping to see him in there. I walked in and immediately saw him talking to someone behind a mirror. He was smiling and looked happy and it made me smile. Suddenly Bianca stepped out and my heart immediately dropped and my smile turned into tears.

I left the store wiping my tears and sniffling. Why am I like this? I asked myself. I turned the corner and bumped into Matthew. "Oh shit, sorry," he said. "Abby?," he asked as he gently grabbed my arms and looked at my face.

"What's up," I said sniffling. "Oh, shit are you okay?" He asked. I nodded and wiped more of my tears away. "Why are you crying," asked Nash. I shook my head and continued sniffling. "Hey, did you uh..... by any chance see Cam?" Asked Matthew. I nodded my head while wiping tears from my eyes.

"Can you tell us where he is?" He asked. I sniffled and replied. "He's in Volcom," I said gesturing my head towards the store. "Thanks," he said smiling. I nodded my head and smiled. "I told you he was in there. That's like his favorite clothing brand," Nash said as they walked off. I laughed and started walking.

I went into Urban Outfitters to see if they had anything I would like. I found a black tank top with wide shoulder strapping that said Aesthetic on it and picked it up. "I know about you and Cam," said a voice behind me. My eyes widened and I turned around to see Bianca standing there. "What?" I said smiling pretending not to know what she was talking about.

"Look, I know that you and him were a thing not too long before I came. He told me," she said. "Oh...... um..... Why did... he tell you?" I asked. "Well, he just thought I should know before we move on to the next level," she said smiling. "Which is.." I said with concern. "Um.... Dating," she replied.

"But I mean it's cool right?" She said. "What?" I replied. "Like you still don't like him or anything right?" She asked. "Oh, um.... No no. He's all yours," I replied with a fake smile. "Cool," she said and left. My eyes watered watching her leave the store. I purchased my item and left the store.

Turning the corner I once again bumped into Matthew. He was only with Nash this time and not his other friends. "Sorry, again Abby," he said smiling. "It's okay. Where's everyone else?" I asked. "Well, they went back to Carter's to play video games and Cam's with uh......" he said. "It's okay. I know.... that he's with Binky," I said shrugging my shoulders. We stood there awkwardly for about 30 seconds until I spoke. "So uh, why didn't you guys go with the rest of the crew," I asked. "Well, we didn't feel like leaving yet, so we decided to stick around for a bit........... wanna join?" He asked. "Sure," I replied and walked with them.

We sat down at a table and had Subway. "So have you and Cam talked recently," asked Nash. "Not that I remember," I replied tilting my head quickly. "What does that mean?" Asked Matthew. "Well, last night when he brought me home. I'm not sure if we talked or not," I said.

"Do you still like him?" Asked Nash. "No. And even if I did I wouldn't tell you guys," I said slightly smiling. "Okay, well tell us how you feel about him," asked Matthew. "Okay. I think he's nice and if he likes Bianca he should go for it," I said quickly. "That's really how you feel?" Asked Nash. I nodded my head and took a bite out of my sandwich.

They both looked at each other and smiled. "What?" I questioned slightly smiling. "See the thing is...... Cam and Bianca already got together," said Nash seriously. "Then why were you guys smiling?" I asked. "Well, we thought that now would be a good chance to tell you since you wouldn't care right?" Asked Matthew. I nodded my head.

"How long were they a thing?" I asked. "Since earlier," Nash replied. I bit my lip and nodded my head. "Does he like her a lot?" I asked. "Well, he's been talking about her since they met," said Matthew. "Have they had sex yet?" I asked. "Woah.. easy I don't know," said Nash sarcastically. "So what he told you guys when we fucked but not when they did?" I asked angrily.

"You know he actually really liked you know that right? I mean yeah you were a bet but a bet that broke his heart. He fell for you and tried so hard for you. You may hate him for what he did but you don't think he hates himself for hurting you? Look he knows what it feels like to be hurt. He hates knowing how you felt. Or still feel," said Matthew.

"Please. I'm pretty sure he wasn't that hurt from his last two girlfriends," I said shrugging it off. "What? Last two girlfriends?" Asked Nash. "Yeah. He told me he didn't really care as much," I said. "He didn't mention anyone else?" Asked Matthew. "All there was... Was a Zoe and I forgot the other one. But yeah. There was 2. Wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked.

"So he didn't mention Vivian?" Asked Nash. "Who the hell is Vivian," I asked. "Wait, he did mention a Vivian. He said he met her at a party and they hooked up. He said it was only a one time thing," I said. "Wait, he told you that she was a one time thing?" I nodded my head and asked, "Why who's Vivian?"  "I'm not sure if we could tell you," said Matt. "Just tell me. Please. You already mentioned her," I said. Nash took a deep breath and looked at Matthew. "Alright fine," Matthew said.

"They started dating in the middle of Freshman year. She was kind of like you. Like her personality and everything. Her clothing style too. They broke up in December of Junior year."

"What happened was she cheated on him with this other guy that Cam didn't like. She got pregnant a month before they broke up, but Cam didn't know the baby wasn't his. He found out by DNA results and he was really hurt and heartbroken. He didn't eat for weeks. He barely attended school and was almost expelled for missing too many days. He got better after 3 and half months and started being himself again. The other girls he dated.... I honestly think it was just to get over Vivian."

"Well shit... I didn't know that," I said. "What happened to Vivian?" I asked. "She moved away with her grandparents," said Nash. "And that guy that got her knocked up?" I asked. "He graduated last year," replied Matthew. "So... Is he really happy with Bianca?" I asked. They nodded their heads. My eyes teared up and I bit my lip. "So you wanna tell us how you really feel now?" Asked Matthew.

I sniffled and took a deep breath. "I don't know how I feel. Because I still really like him so fucking much, but a part of me doesn't want to like him. But he hurt me so fucking much and I don't want to feel the same way again. I'm still fucking hurt over what he did. I just wanted to kiss him so fucking much when I saw him at the party. That's why I got fucked up. It just hurts me to see him with anyone else but I want him to be happy. If Bianca makes him feel that way, then I'm happy for him," I said sniffling and crying.

"Well congratulations Abby," said Matthew smiling. "For what?" I said. "For not lying to yourself about what you want. If you want Cameron, talk to him and stop letting your doubts get in your fucking way," he said. "But I can't anymore. He's with Bianca," I said confused. "Nah.... we only said that to see how you really felt," Nash said smiling. "You guys are assholes," I said smiling. "Nah, we're your friends," said Matt.

"Thanks for this talk. Honestly. It really helped clear my mind," I said getting up. "So..... what are you gonna do?" Asked Matt. "I'll talk to him if he's not busy," I said.