Kaydet Girl (PMA)

Inside the Academy

November

Now that he is inside the Academy, my life as a civic (civilian) started to change. My beliefs have been changed, my lifestyle is starting to alter and it was really hard. ><

The reality is curse. The government owns him, the priority is the country and I am always second to it. Duty comes with responsibility. He's a soldier and is expected to follow orders. Internet and cellphones are take life risks. Communication became extinct and only best performance allows me to meet him at weekends.

I know how difficult it would be before i got into a relationship with my cadet . But I never expect this would be a 100x harder than I imagine. 

A single message of "good night baby"  is a relief and proven enough words for me to wake up on the next day and still greet him a beautiful morning. :) 

Kahit gaano ako katampo sa kanya at sa kanyang trabaho (minsan gusto ko ng ibato ung celphone ko) because kaydet girl newbies like me still dont understand many things inside the academy still i stand beside him and support him no matter what. I have solved this by flooding him all the crazy message as i can send. It keeps both of us going.

But when times are cruel it takes days for me to be able to reach him. 

My days without him is crazy. Day1-2 "yes he's busy". Day 3-4 "what is he doing??" Day 4-6 "are we over? is there someone else?" Day 7- 10 "ohmg. is he okay.? did something happened to him?" >>>> hahaha yes i have this kind of paranoid thought. Watch out for more. 

At this times patience and understanding is not enough for me to sustain my crazy mind set

My perfect civilian life is now mixed with military thoughts and paranoia. Being away from him makes me miss him a lot, free time tends to be my imaginary moments and being dead curious about his life.

I started wondering around the internet about military factors.
Nahagilap ko na yata ang buong website for Military Girlfriends... And wow.. There a lot of us, same stories, same wits and buts.
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Duties. 

His duties are my main enemy. Acads, physical training, events, duties as "yearling" and ect. are competing with me to have him. Most of the time I'm the loser. ( how can i compete with the freaking government) Besides he needs to do his best in every task given to him. (no excuses)

Since he is a "yearling" (2nd yr college for you) i need to be super super considerate when it comes to his academics. No take life on "Call to quarters"(study period). They say that the 2nd semester of their yearling is the most difficult part of their academics wherein 1/4 of the class might be dismissed or turnback because of a failing grade. But besides this treat i believed in him, i trusted in him that he can make it, that he can pass his calculus and step on his next level. 

Thanks to all the prayers and diligence he passed it. 

>> continue to read my struggle >>