Kaydet Girl (PMA)

WASTED!! LEARNING BACK

My days were empty.

And my heart still is in pieces

Sometimes I cry at night to sleep.

I hate touching my phone.

And I really would hate my roommate a.ka. my bff nagging about his boyfriend.

Because she is a nagger, isusumbong daw nia ako sa Mama ko pag hindi ako pumasok sa school.

To ease the pain, I started going home late.

I would have an overtime at the office till 8 in the evening, eat dinner with my friends, go home then make assignments then sleepy head na.

Sometimes going to the Ampersand (bar) helps.

I don't know if I was a bad bitch or maybe I am just a little lost sheep.

One thing I kept in mind this cooloff is Gods Plan, and If we really are meant to be. Cadet would come back to me.

This 18th of April they were send to Bulacan to have their ranger training. Off course updated parin ako sa schedule nia. The ranger training would last a month so I hope this cool off thing would last also.

I don't know how to live a life with this forever broken shit. So slap my face honey and paste my broken pieces. *#kgqoutes Remember the life of your cadet is not yours so stand up and do your thing.

My Bff is like my Mom. I told you erlier she's a nagger. But thanks to her also i believe little by little I will get over this.

I started blogging the net about other military girlfriends. With my surprise ang dami pala nila. Same cries, same suffering and whimps as a kaydet girl/ military girlfriend or wives like me.

"hindi ako nag iisa."

I searched for more. I found my class. A kaydet girls at the PMA. I joined groups and some of them were kind to message me and hear my story.

Eto ang supper kong na appreciate, that even though we do not personally know each other, they are here for me. I say we are Sisters by boyfriends.. hahaha yes That's what kaydet girls are.

To support each other in times of needs and grippings.

I never thought this day would come, that I will run to my co kaydet girls for comfort. Nung una kasi like I said I don't care sa mga kaydetgils na yan and I refuse to call myself a kaydet girl. But now look. Were friends *PS: Civic friend doesn't understand your whine.

Some of them are already years with their cadets, so they give me advice on what is happening.

"understanding lang yan sis" sabi ng iba

"believe magkakabalikan din kayo"

" He needs you to stand by till he returns"

Oh diba mga nosebleeds na advice. But it helps. It keeps my head of my toes.

And oo nga pala I mention I was addicted to military movies na din. So I started watching for more to fully complete my understanding.

"feeling ko ako din kasi ang mali, na mahirap na nga ung pinag dadaanan nila inside the academy, nag demand pa ako ng time and changes"

Now I realize how wrong I was to do that. Napunu na din siguro sia at ayun nag cool off nalang kami.

I watch the Decendants of the Sun. So relate much. (watch it also. i highly recommend it)

As he was gone, hindi lang KG's ang nakiramay sa akin, even his cousins keep me in their comfort zone. They texted me, invites me on occasions and eventually we fall to being friends. I was ashamed to seek help for our relationship but they opened it. I asked kung if ever there is another girl or whatever it is.

Pang highmoral. They told me, "I was the only girl his ever Mom meet as his girlfriend. And the only one he brought home."

"REALLY??"

Killig mode na ung heart ko.

Ayan nabuhay na ang pag asa ko na this thing between us will eventually come to an end. I believe from the deepest part of my heart, I love him and I still feel him beating inside me.

I promise to wait patiently for your return.

And every day I beg God to guide you and return you to my arms once again.