Wish You Were Here - Harry Styles

Chapter 18.

Valerys Pov:

I walked over near the sea and walked barefooted, as the slow wave hit my feet. I walked along the sea front as i could hear them singing and laughing, so i knew i werent far. I knew they could see me and i knew most of the time they would watch me.
As i got bored of walking i sat down on the sand and the waves still hit my feet. I looked out in the distance as the wind blew my hair in random places and started to think.

Harrys Pov:

I saw Valery walking near the sea lost in thought as her hair blew in random places but she didnt care. She carried on walking till she sat down. The waves slowly hitting her barefeet. She looked so court up in her thoughts. I wanted to know what she was thinking but i knew she wouldnt tell me and i knew she needed her space but i just wanted someone to go talk to her.
"Hey babe, you alright?" I heard ashely say as we finished the first song.
"Yea, do you think someone should go see her?" I asked looking at valery. Ashley looked at her and then back at me.
"Harry she just needs her space right now. She will speak to you or one of us when shes ready. But right now she just needs time to think." She said then pecked my lips.
"You right." I said and kissed her again. I turned back to everyone else and we started another song, Wonderwall by oasis.

Valerys Pov:

I heard them start another song and i recognised this one. It was wonderwall by oasis.

I looked back at them and saw them all smiling and singing happily. I could never been that happy, i thought as i looked back out to the distance. I havent been that happy in years. There was nothing to be happy about. My dad use to beat me and it hurt, no lying there, because it did. There was nothing to be happy about in my family. My dad abused me and my mum. My mum left because of it and left me and i still dont know why? Why did she take me with her? If she knew why did she leave me? Did she want me to feel the way she did? Did she forget about me? Does she know im okay? Does she even care if i was dead? What if i die because of my dad? What would she have done? What would have harry done? Harry probably wouldve got on with his life. I mean i wouldnt be mad if he did because he should. But im not die, so i need to stop thinking like that.

I had so many questions though. So many questions but no answers. Not one answer for a questions. Nothing. Thats what everyones left me with. Questions but no answers. The main question was why? Why this? Why that? Why everything? Why did my dad abuse my mum? Did she do something wrong? Did she deserve it? Why did he start to do it to me? Did i do something wrong? Did i deserve it? Did my dad think it was good to abuse people? Did he think he was hard or the boss if he did? Did he think he was clever? Did he want to see me hurt? Did he really not want me that badly? Why cant i answer these questions? Why wont anyone give me the answers? Why? Just....Why?

The only time i was really, truely happy was when i was with harry. But i guess thats going to change because his got a girlfriend. I mean shes nice and im sure he will still hang out with me but he needs to hang out with her more, and i understand that. But i cant help my feelings for him. I dont want to tell him because that would just amke things awkward and i dont want that. I just got him back i cant lose him. Espcially because im living at his house. Bu another thing is i cant hate Ashley. Shes too nice and kind. Shes so perfect that theres nothing you could hate about her. Harry loves her. She loves him. The management love her. The fans love her. The paps love her. Everyone loves her. They think that harry and her are the cutest couple ever and this hurts but i agree. They are the same. They mess around and have fun together. They tease eachother. They also have romantic sides and caring and serious sides. They're perfect. I'm nothing compared to her. I'm fat and ugly. Everyone hates me. The fans hate me and think im using harry. My family hate me. Most of my friends hate me. Harry would never go for someone like me. Someone whos broken and useless. No one wants me.

I didnt know how long i was sitting there but soon i felt someone tap me on the shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"We're leaving" Ashley stood there, i nodded and stood up so i was facing her. "Whats up? Why you crying?" She asked and i raised my hand to my cheek and felt my cheek wet. I must have thought so hard that i didnt realise i was crying.
"Just thinking, dont worry" I said and she pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged back.
"I'm always here if you need to talk, we all are. And im here if you want a girly night out" She said and I smiled. She really was perfect. I couldnt hate her. Shes too perfect to hate and too kind.
"Thank you" I muttered and we walked back to the car where all the boys were waiting. We both go in. She went and sat next to harry who instintly put his arm round her waist, like he was protecting her. I sat near the window and looked outside, in thought. It looked so peaceful out there. Like nothing could be ruined. Like everything is right. I wish my life was like that. Peaceful and calm like nothing is ruined or nothing could be ruined. But my life is ruined. Everything about it is. Before i knew it I had fell into a deep sleep.

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