A Conformist Love Story: Goth Kid Pete x Reader

Chapter Eleven

*Pete's P.O.V.*

She's scared of me...Figures. I guess at the end of the day she is just a stupid fucking conformist. They're all scared of me. There is nothing special about her.

I kept telling myself that, but I knew that I was only lying to myself. I didn't matter my much I forced myself to think badly of her; I couldn't. I couldn't blame her for being upset. She was right; Luke's death did nothing to me. Maybe I am just a monster...

No, I knew that wasn't true. It couldn't be true because I did still feel shit, and I was feeling a lot of shit at the moment.

She really said she didn't want anything to do with me...that she was scared of me...I guess I can't blame her...

I thought about going to class, but I decided to ditch. Instead, I went to the back of the school, and I smoked a few cigarettes and I wrote. I wrote all that I could. Everything I could feel.

I sit alone

I sit in silence

I want to die

I feel it grow bigger

It's stronger now

I feel it creep nearer

It's engulfing me now

This shadow, which confused me- is free now

It feels like a gaping mouth of razors, beginning to tear me apart

I sit still

I sit quiet

This pain is nothing like I've ever felt before

My heart begin to drip black drops as the shadow forces it's way into my soul

It doesn't belong there

It doesn't belong in this distorted world

It belongs inside me

The shadow is my witness

My truth

Without it, I believe I'm great- I believe a lie

But with it, I know I am nothing

I know everything now

I'll lose nothing because I have nothing

I am what I have- which is nothing- but now is everything

I am the shadow

I took a deep breath, rereading my work. It really did pain me. I felt a real connection with her. It seemed that we both sensed it the first time our eyes locked, and to see it end like this...

I didn't notice it at first, but I heard a drop hit the paper, and I realize that it came from me. I was crying. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried, but it had been a long, long time.

Suddenly, my notebook was ripped out of my hands, and I looked up to the unimpressed figure standing in front of me.

"What the hell is this?" Michael seethed as he read my work.

"That's it," I shrugged nonchalantly. "It's the end."

Michael instantly glared down to me. "Pete, I warned you—"

"It's over. She doesn't want me. She's fucking scared of me," I let out another ironic, angry laugh. "Just like all the rest of the conformist swine in this school."

"She knows...doesn't she?" he slowly asked.

I nodded slowly.

Instantly, Michael threw my notebook back down at me before he stormed off, back into the school.

*Your P.O.V.*

Shortly after Pete left the janitor's closet, I made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. I had already decided that I wasn't going to go to this class. I figured I'd just go to the nurse's office and say I had a migraine, which wasn't a total lie. My head was killing me.

"You!" A male voice behind me shouted, as the bathroom door slammed open.

Startled, I felt my body jump as I turned around to see the tallest and oldest of the goth kids, Michael.

"You know! I know you know, and I don't know why- I don't care, but I swear on Cthulhu if you say a single fucking—"

"You don't have to worry about that," I boldly told him, with all the confidence I had in my body, hoping it would get him to leave.

"You two can never be together," he bitterly snarled at me.

"Thanks for the reminder," I spat back at him, wanting to be done with all of this bullshit. "I get it. We're from two completely different social groups or whatever."

"I heard that Brovflovski kid likes you, stick to him, yeah? Pete doesn't need you ruining his life anymore than you already have," he seethed.

I couldn't help but feel tears form in my eye. This day genuinely just kept getting worse and worse. I pushed passed the taller male to get myself out of that bathroom and away from him. I didn't want that jerk to see that he was the thing that broke me today, but as soon as I left the bathroom, I couldn't help but feel the tears fall down my cheeks. At that point, I started down that hall with no specific destination. Maybe, I could just go him or at least hide out in the locker room until-

Suddenly, because I wasn't looking at all where I was going, I was knocked to the ground, as I ran into someone.

"(Y/N)?" a voice called over me. "I was just looking to for you..."

I wiped my eyes to see Stan standing over me, reaching out to help me up. I hesitantly took his hand, and he led me to my feet, as his look of concern stayed on his face.

"What happened to you? Are you okay?" he asked.