Loner

Alone

Ichimatsu sighed as he glanced out the window. Osomatsu was getting soaked, all because he was looking for Jyushimatsu.

Ichimatsu's heart began to beat extremely quickly. His chest felt heavier and heavier. Then the nausea came. That's how it always was when his anxiety would act up.

"Tch...nobody cares that I'm always lonely. I've always been like this. They just don't understand how freaking miserable it really is." Ichimatsu thought as he grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled on it angrily. The entire world seemed so pointless. What's the point in being alive if you're always alone? Why live if all you're going to do is sit in the corner all day? Ichimatsu's heart began to pound even harder.

"Ichi!" Choromatsu yelled suddenly. His eyes were filled with concern as he stared at Ichimatsu. "Stop! You're going to hurt yourself!"

Ichimatsu looked away, not saying a word. He hadn't felt anything. But when he opened the palm of his hand, there lay...a fist full of hair. "Heck if I care!" Ichimatsu said to himself, still avoiding all eye contact with his brothers.

"Are you okay?" Todomatsu asked as he turned off his phone and sat down beside Ichimatsu.

"Get away from me..." Ichimatsu grumbled as he kicked his younger brother.

"You don't act okay," Karamatsu said coolly, "you're acting like some pitiful emo kid. 'oh boo hoo my brother is missing!' Cut it out." Karamatsu smirked and walked out of the room. "I'm going to go look for Jyushimatsu, too. It's getting stuffy in here."

Todomatsu poked one Ichimatsu's toes. "Don't you want to go look for Jyushimatsu?"

"Get away from me..." Ichimatsu sighed , "It's not like I'll ever find him."

Todomatsu scooted away from Ichimatsu and picked up his phone again, not saying a word.

"I think I'll go look as well," Choromatsu said after several minutes of awkward silence. "The rain is getting worse."

"I guess I'll follow you too then. No point staying here with Mr. Emo," Totty laughed, slipping his phone into his pink hoodie pocket.

Ichimatsu watched in misery as his brothers left the house. His heart began to pound harder and harder. He felt like it could just explode. Of course, that wouldn't be so bad. Being dead seemed better than anything right now.

"Just go cut yourself...nobody will notice. Do it. Do it. Don't you love that feeling when the blade runs across your skin? Do you NOT love that pain?" Ichimatsu yelled, trying to fight away his thought. ESP Kitty jumped out of his arms and began to talk.

"Go cut yourself. You don't deserve to live." and at that, the cat ran out of the room in fear.

"Stupid cat..." Ichimatsu muttered, standing up from his usual corner, shuffling his feet towards the bathroom.