From Heaven To Hell

Focus

I stare at the rain streaked window and watch as new droplets make winding paths on the glass.

A bag of chips I bought from a vending machine lays empty in my hand. I had only just started to curb my hunger when the small bag was finished. Desire to go to the lunchroom laces through my empty stomach, making me press my belly in yearning.

Once I had finally gotten used to the classroom, the bell that rang for lunch blared through the speakers and my feet guided me to the quietness of the library. Even with the progress in class, I didn't feel like trying it out in a loud cafeteria where I would likely throw up from the bombardment of people talking over one another. I had told Emma that I was just going to study in here, and that she could go on without me. Guilt had almost made me turn back but I remembered how sociable she was and the worry went away. I even was about to ask her for Aspirin but decided I could try to find some later.

Now I just sit in an empty part of the library, away from voices and noises.  For the past twenty minutes, all I could think about was what was going on. First, the whole ankle healing-thing. And now I could hear everything. I had practiced on a few cars out in the parking lot, letting my ears easily pick up the sounds of the cars as they drove out or in. And all I did was sit here, behind brick walls and the sound of thunder vibrating the roof, and focused.

My mind is still whirling. How could any of this even be possible?

I had even thought about asking Noah, but decided against it. Could he even know what was going on? What if he just thought it was a headache and he was just trying to help? But how did he know how to fix it? Is that how you fix normal headaches? Tuning everything out?

A pain beats along the back of my forehead and I massage my throbbing temples. Even in the silence of the library, my head still pounds from the noise earlier. Maybe I hit the back of my head on the tree when I sat down yesterday? But could a concussion have caused all this? It could explain the pain, but not the distinctness of how I was hearing things now.

My mind draws a blank. No explanation. Maybe I should tell mom. She could probably help- The journal entry comes back to mind.

And then there's that. Why was all this happening to me?

              {{{{{{{}}}}}}

I pump my arms, going faster. The hard concrete feels grounded against my moving feet. Don't think. Don't think.

Don't think.

I repeat the mantra that I had begun my exercise with. Of course, my mind wanted to disobey. My mother, healing ankle, and advanced hearing threatened to break my concentration.

The rain had stopped as I was driving home and I decided the best thing to do was take a run, get my mind off the topics. I had avoided going to the trail, still wary of spraining my ankle again. Or was it a sprain?

No. Focus.

As if in reaction to the unwanted thought, I run faster, puddles of water splashing the backs of my legs.

The rest of the day in school, I practiced letting all the sounds come to my ears and it hurt less and less. But I still couldn't wait to leave. My head felt ready to crumble from the strain. When I got home after school, I quickly changed, put my earbuds in, although I only put them in to block out the noises, and started running.

A car waits for me as I run across the street and onto the next sidewalk. I don't actually know where I want to go, I just let my feet take me farther and farther from my house. And from my thoughts.

Besides a slight soreness, my ankle feels as though I never hurt it. The sky is a light purple, the clouds from the storm giving the sky a soft quality. Heavy, humid air fills my lungs, making my breathing ragged. My body is still not used to the different conditions here, rain 24/7 as opposed to the beachy weather that I am accustomed to.