Nightmare

Idk

I walk up the hill and down a couple blocks     *buzz* 
I look down at my phone, knowing who it's from.
Him<3: I'm home my love. (:

I decide to ignore the text, and reply once I get home.--
I finally get home, plop onto my couch like a potato and go on my phone. I now answer him back.
Reply: Good, I'm home too cute stuff. :P

We then decide to talk later on, since school work calls. I decide to put my phone in a place I don't go very often, so I won't have the urge to want to touch it all day.

I go to the fridge grab some grapes and walk upstairs to go on some YouTube. After a while YouTube got boring, I've watched what I think is all the video's out there on the web. So with YouTube not satisfying me I decide to do something rather "productive"

I decide to "feed" my brain today and  pick up a book I've never finished. I sit in my bed and start to read. The feeling of my warm room and reading is what soothes me. My room is like my lair. It is very sacred to me.

Once I start to read I look to the far bottom left corner of the page I'm on, a tear stain it appears.. I pick my hand up and drag it across my left cheek.
I didn't even feel as if I have been crying. Almost like its natural. Thing's have been strange lately.
Things with "him" have been off. I don't know what it is but I'm eager to find what it is.

I feel so "idk".
Idk, is that even a feeling? I feel weak... And crushed. I can feel my heart pounding. I cradle my face into the palms
of my hands and ball my eyes out.
I hear the door.
Parents.
They can not see me crying, I would have to do a lot of explaining. I then rush to the mirror wipe the tears off my face. I pretend laugh and smile into the mirror so I can look more lively.
Once I think I look "lively" enough, I head down stairs to greet them.  Making sure they don't suspect a thing.

I decide to head back upstairs and instead of continue my book, which is the Harry Potter series. I decided why not try to read something new, something everyone talks about.
Maybe this way I'll be able to socialize easier.

I then grab my book bag, head to my desk, and decide to study. Studying reminds me of "him."
I then remember where I put my phone and decide to get it.
I see I got 4 new messages.
Of those four, three consists  of my best friends. I decide I'm not in the mood to answer them. So I leave those be.
The fourth message is from "him"

Him<3: I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna go to the lake. I'll text you when I get home <3
Reply: Alright love, just be safe.
Xoxo

I get a gut feeling this isn't good. When he goes to the lake. It's usually when he needs to get away. To Think, to be alone.

The lake is a place to run away, with out actually running away.