Nightmare

Part 5

I haven't updated in a while i know!! i suck sorry?? I know what i want to do with this book but i have to plan out the chapters better. hope you like this one 

-Tori ;p

It's been about a week. Conversations got shorter, and words like love,cutie, ect have slowly been slipping.. I guess as time went on he broke the bond between us. He got more distant and was able to move away from me.. 

It's whatever. I have no control over this. (At least that's how i felt for about a day or so) 

I see him in the halls, 2-3 times a day we pass each other in the halls. I so badly want to avoid him but my heart and mind are telling me that I need to at least just look at him. 

This go on like this for months on end. As the months go by the distance gets wider. I can not loose him. 

I still ind m self everyday texting him to see if he has arrived home, his answers give me a notion that he is not happy with me. He answers back with no interest. 

Friends, it's hard to see a boy you love around friends that are girls. Especially when he has plans about moving on and being with others. 

One night I was laying in bed re-reading our old messages. 

(2:55 am)

Him: I'm so sick and tired of fighting with you! I don't want to live m life like this much longer, this is not at all how I wanted life with you to be like. I'm just loosing love for you and i'm really sorry about that Nat.. I just can't see us together in the future anymore. I'm sure time will go by and you will move on. But the things you said and did.. they just aren't forgivable, so i won't forgive you i just can't! I need to be with someone else, someone who doesn't make me worry so much, someone i'm happy with you.. i gotta i'll see you around. 

As I read this i started to scream, I didn't want to wake my parents but I couldn't help it. I needed to scream. Was I really this bad of a monster.. Am I really that horrible of a person? A million thoughts flew through my mind. 

I got out of bed and started to pace in my room, grabbing my hair and trying to pull it out. I couldn't take this anymore, I was so hurt. I didn't know how to deal with so much hurt. I just wanted to DIE. 

I go to the mirror, making a formation out of my shadow in the dark room. 

"You're worthless you know that? you hurt him no one else did, this was all your fault" i tell my self

I just need to sleep, I have school tomorrow so i go to my moms room and climb into bed with her..