Sweater Weather.{Troye Sivan Fanfic}

Chapter 3.

Oh My Gosh.

Troye Sivan. Troye. Sivan. Him. Everything. Friend. Is here in California, as well as me. I am Troye, Troye is me. We are one.

I couldn't breathe right now. The boy who left me all alone back then and still has left me alone is here in the same state as me. No, he hasn't even bother to ring me, text me or anything! This doesn't mean anything to me now, he's dead to me. All he'll ever be to me is nothing but a bad memory.

'Savanna.. Savann? You hear me? I said Tr-' I cut her short. I knew what she said.

'I heard you the first time. You don't need to repeat it twice El.' I growled at her, probably a wrong move for me, since she in a way does feel onimous towards me. I'll most likely regret this later in the future.

'Listen Savanna. Whats wrong with you? You're acting bitchy now.' Of course she would snapped back at me. Its Eleanor for crying out loud!

'Lets just say... I have a strong disliking towards him and never want to see him ever again.' I took a deep breathe. That was a lie, i did secretly want to see... Why else would i think about him? Ever since he left I always thought about him... Hatred thoughts.. And loved thoughts. Im bipolar i swear.

'And whats that suppose to mean? You hate Troye? Why? He's done nothing wrong to you.' She confuse, all she can possibly remember between me and Troye is our happy, cheeky memories. If anything, she most likely had expected me to light up and ask where he was in California. No. She gets the exact opposite.

'I don't know! Jeeze, why do you even care for starters! Just leave me alone, for my own sake, you're not my mother or father so stop controlling me Eleanor.' This isn't me. My alter ego, i called her Jenna, it just seemed like such a rebellious name at the time.. Still does.

Anyways 'Jenna' was different.. She was the uglier side of me.. Rude,bitchy, my side which allow me to become brave and talk trash or not be afraid. Who i am is Savanna Evans. An Aussie girl, who smoked, drinked, had tattoo's and was every girl's secret wanna be self.

I wanted to be Jenna. Confident and brave. Savanna was secretly quiet, sad, broken and shy... I hid that away with what people thought of me. A troublesome girl.

'Im your older cousin, by default that makes me more like your mother and father. Now tell me, why are you pissed or acting rude to me now, and what does Troye being here have to do with anything?' She was trying hard to keep her cool. I shouldn't piss Eleanor off anymore. This is her trying to be cool... And i've seen her angry.. Not exactly what you want to see.

I decided to tell her everything, then thought how she would laugh at me, and say how pathetic i am. So I'll tell her half of everything and make Troye seem like the bad guy now.

'Fine. Ever since Troye left me.. Everything he grew up with for 15 years, he promised that he would call and Skype.. Anything to keep in touch with me everyday.' That's a lie. Thats what i thought would happened. 'No, he lied, the day after he left. Nothing. A week later. Nothing. Months. Nothing. Years. Nothing. Absolutely nothing! How do you think i feel? Like shit!'

Its true, after the 3rd month i felt like shit and fell into a state of depression and pointed out every flaw about myself. I hated myself then.

'I had no one left for me at school who actually cared or gave a fuck about me! I had to become cared for.. Known. Thats where everything changed about me. You obviously know how i left to California once my parents where done with me. Troye made me a mess. A fucking wreck. I can't and won't stand him anymore. Its all his fault my life is this crappy now.'

Eleanor, gave me a judging look at first... Her face then softened. I am a horrible person for lying to her. Why am i still here? If she ever finds out the truth on what actually happened and how Im just blaming everything on Troye i am dead. She hates being lied to, all her life she's been lied to.

Wait.. How does she even expect me to help her with her problem?

'El.. How do you even expect me to help out.. You know with you being chased down?' I was expecting some weird plan.

I didn't expect her to say, what she was going to say at all.

'You're not. Troye is.' No. She needs to stop there. I can guess what she is planning.

'The gangs obviously have no idea who he and his family are. We can hide with his family and pretend to be part of their beautiful and wonderful family. Although after all you just told me.. I don't think that is such an amazing idea.' She stops for a moment and looks at me.

Im dying on the inside. Screaming. Yelling. Crying. Breaking down.

But me being me. I said 'Whatever keeps you safe. You're all that i care about now. I'll look pass that he's there. I'll pretend to like him... As if nothing happened.'

Fuck.

Im going to hell for all these lies.

Theres no way Im pretending. I like him as a friend still. I want to make things right with him. Living with him will end my misery.

Once again. Horrible Human Being.

'Savanna. We can always just leave the country... Which is a bit to risky for me and you b-' No, El.. If you only knew the truth and not my endless lies.

I don't understand how we went from thinking of a plan to Troye and lies.

Usually i suck at changing subjects, but she's clueless to see Im lying.

The best i can do to hide my lies is.. Lying furthermore

'Eleanor. No its fine, lets just go to his house and make something up so they can let us live with them.' Great more lies.

She gave me an unsure look. Guilt was in me. I can't look at her any longer.

'Fine.' And thats all she said before we got in her car, and she left for Troye's house.

Troye Sivan's house.

My God.