The Protective Heart ✔️

23. Protecting her from holding back

Crystal's POV

Declan drove as we sat in silence. I stared out the window, trying to sort out all of my feelings.

Seeing my dad for the first time since he left us so long ago felt surreal. It was like a nightmare that I had never thought would actually happen. I had thought that if I ever saw him again that all I would feel was anger but...my stomach turned as I closed my eyes tightly, holding back the tears that threatened dot overflow once again.

Why was seeing him so painful?

I thought I had moved past this but looking into the eyes that I had inherited brought up all of the feelings that I had worked so hard to push down inside of me.

The car came to a stop and I realized we had already arrived back at the dorms. I made no move to get out.

I felt weak and I hated myself for it. I had trained day in and day out so that I would be strong and within just a few minutes, I was brought all the way back to being that scared little girl I was when he left.

My door opened and I looked up to see Declan. I quickly averted my eyes to the ground and got out. I was so humiliated. I let everyone see me at my lowest point.

Bridget, Grant, Ray, and Bailey...

I was brought back for a moment to what Bailey had said the night before.

"You were always strong, Crystal. And I've looked up to you for that...but I think I admire you now more than ever."

I cringed at the memory and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I was sure she was disappointed in me and she probably regretted what she said now.

Declan took my hand and walked me up to my room. When we walked in, I noticed my roommate sitting at her desk. She smiled and waved at us but then quickly when back to her books. I turned around in the doorway, ready to run away. I didn't know where I would go but I had to get out of here. I couldn't let anyone else see me like this.

"Goldi?" Declan's voice brought me to look at him.

"Can we go to your house?" I squeaked out.

Gosh, I sounded pathetic.

Hell, I FELT pathetic.

"Of course." His voice was soft and comforting, the way it always was when he talked to me. He never ceased to amaze me with his endless patience. He really was my own personal light shining at the end of my dark tunnel.

After we had driven and pulled up to his house, I looked over at him. He shut the vehicle off and then turned to me, his eyes filled with concern.

"Thank you." My voice cracked and I felt my eyes water again.

How was it possible to still have tears? I swore if it was possible to run out, I certainly should have at that point.

"I would do anything for you, Goldi. You don't have to thank me." He gave me a sad smile and then grabbed my hand in his. His warmth was undeniable as it soaked into the tips of my fingers and crept up my arm and encased my whole body.

"I...I worked so hard, Declan...how can he still break me when I worked so hard to make sure it wouldn't happen?" I asked desperately. His eyebrows furrowed as if my pain was his own.

"I wish I knew the answer to that. But there's one thing I do know. You're not alone this time, you have me. You can depend on me and I will help you through this. I promise you that." His words have given me the smallest bit of strength despite my weariness.