Malec

How Many?

He smiles a crooked, underused smile, and it makes Magnus' heart wrench. He's so beautiful.
His raven hair is shining in the sunlight as he tilts his head back, laughing, his white teeth glinting.
Magnus notices the lean muscle cording his neck, shoulders, and arms, and his chest muscles contract as he slides his hands through his longer hair, looking at Magnus with beautiful blue eyes.
He smiles at his shadowhunter.
"Alexander." He stops speaking, once again overcome by the way Alec looks. The way he looks when he's happy- laughing without abandon, and letting himself enjoy the elated feeling of joy. Not thinking of consequences or anything but right now.
"Yes?" Alec smiles at Magnus, his breathy laughter subsiding.
Magnus wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him exactly what he was thinking.  I think I love you. You are so beautiful. You are broken and perfect. I love your smile, your laugh warms me from my heart to my toes. I live to see you like this, and knowing this side of you is reserved for only me. I want to protect you, even though i know you can protect yourself.
Magnus doesn't say any of this though. He just chuckles softly and shakes his head, glitter falling from his hair in a soft rain.
"Nothing," He says gently, smiling at Alec, who smiles right back.

•••

"So how long ago did you. Uh. How long ago did you realise your... Feelings?" Alec speaks awkwardly, as he and Magnus walk along the quiet streets of Brooklyn, hand in hand.
"My feelings about..?"
Magnus looks at Alec, amused.
"You know," Alec blushes. "About guys."
Magnus laughs.
"I've always known. It's just that the world hadn't quite caught up with me yet."
Magnus chuckles at his thoughtful expression.
"But what about Cam-" Magnus cuts him off.
"I think of myself as.. A freewheeling bisexual." Magnus grins. "I don't limit love to either men or women specifically. I've loved both over all these years, in different ways, but love comes in all shapes and sizes, and varies with time and travel."
Magnus stopped talking when Alec nodded. He could tell the shadowhunter was deep in thought.

•••

They finally reached Magnus' apartment, having wandered and roamed the streets together aimlessly, to kill time. When they reached his door, Magnus looked at the timid shadowhunter.
"What's wrong Alexander?" He brushes the back of his tan hand along his cheek, trying to make eye contact with Alec. "Something has been troubling you all night."
Alec picked his eyes up and looked at Magnus. His eyes were filled with sadness, and Magnus could see a lonely darkness coming over him.
"Baby..." Magnus reached out and wrapped his tan arms around the built shadowhubter, feeling him collapse into the safety of his arms.
Alec buried his face into the skin between Magnus' neck and shoulder, and Magnus gently rubbed his back, and spoke soothing words.
Finally, when Alec pulled away, he spoke. His voice was quiet.
"How many?"
Magnus was very confused, and asked Alec what he meant.
"You said you've loved... So many people." He looks in to his eyes. "How many? Am I just. Am I just here to kill time? Another of a long list of people?"
Magnus stopped him there.
"Alec, I am over 400 years old. I've lived to see people born, and to see people die. I have loved men and women, and I have made friends. I have seen the people I love leave, and I've seen them die. But I have never been so sure of any of them as I am of you."
Magnus moved to Alec, and took his face in his hands.
"I was beginning to lose hope, Alexander. I was beginning to fear I would never love again. But you woke me up. You walked into my party, and you left with my heart. From the very first night I saw you. And I love you Alexander." He kisses Alec's eyelids softly, and he trembles beneath the warlocks touch.
"I love you."
Alec pulled away after Magnus began kissing him, so softly. He looked into the yellow-green eyes of the warlock across from him.
He whispers.
"I love you."
And he walks away, dragging his hand behind him, sliding it down the warlock's arm, touching him as long as he could, before he stepped out of reach, and eventually out of view. Magnus watches him disappear. And when he does, he walks inside his apartment, and watches the shadowhunter from the window, and smiles as he disappears in to the night.
"I love you, Alexander."