Not Broken, Just Bent: The Band Perry Sister Story

Chapter 8: It Ain't Pretty.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I was a little fearful at this point. I have never seen so much rage in Reid's eyes. But really though, I didn't know what the big deal was! I've gone out with them before. I'm sure he just wants his way though. He just wants to be difficult and stubborn. Unfourtantly I'm pretty stubborn too, so neither of us are going to want to budge. This could end up being a longggg fight.

"I told you already, we're going to the boardwalk!" I responded in an extreamly annoyed tone.

"Did you not hear what I said an hour ago!? You're not going!" 

"And I said that y'all can't tell me what to do. So I'm going." Without another thought, I whipped around and started to make my way down the steps to the car.

"Caitlin!" Reid called after me.

I turned around and screamed back at him, "WHAT?!"

"Go inside now. Or else." He threatened. His tone was harsh and completly serious. I didn't know if the 'or else' part was just a bluff. But I didn't want to risk it. I'm sure he would just tell our parents and I would get in trouble anyway. So either way now, I'm probably going to get in trouble.

I stared down with Reid for a moment, trying to read him. He was waiting for me to make my next move.

I turned around and looked at my confused friends in the car, "I'm sorry. We'll have to hang out another time."

"No worries! We'll call you later!" Liz told me, with a friendly voice. She was trying to be nice and understanding.

I gave them a brave smile as they pulled out of the driveway. I was so angry with Reid though, it was hard to force it. How can they just come here and tell me what to do?! How did I let that happen?! How could I be so stupid.

I turned around and ran past Reid, who was standing firm in the same spot. 

"Caitlin!" He called after me once again. It wasn't in an angry way though. He had realized that he hurt me and of course now felt sorry for it.

I ignored his calls and slammed the door shut and headed for my bedroom. I was on the verge of tears. All my emotions from this vacation,  and from the past 9 months were about ready to explode. I was going to explode. As strong as I was... As strong as I wanted to be I just can't do it anymore. I can't hide how I feel or pretend everything is ok and that I don't care.. when in fact I care so much and everything is certiantly NOT OK. 

I once my bedroom was in sight I ran into it and shut the door behind me. I closed my eyes for a minute, using every ounce of strength I had to hold it together.

For the first time I looked up and around in my room. Much to my supirse I found Kimberly and Neil sitting on Kimberly's bed staring back at me. Probably in awe at what they just witnessed.

I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. I coudn't come up with an explantion or a whitty comment. I had nothing. All I knew is I was angry at them for being in here. I was angry at my parents for leaving our family vacation and forcing Kimberly and I to share a room. And I was angry at myself for acting the way I did. I was angry. And I'm sure it wasn't a very pretty sight.

"Caitlin," Neil started, "are.. are you ok?"

"No! NO! I"M NOT OK! DO I LOOK OK TO YOU?" I screamed at them. 

They both had startled and confused looks on their faces.

"CAN YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE! PLEASE!" I screamed again.

 By this time, Reid had came in and was filling Kimberly and Neil in on everything that just happened.

Neil and Kimberly stood up from the bed and stood next to Reid.

"Is that all true?" Kimberly asked me, reffering to what Reid had just told them.

"Yes."

Reid started to speak again, "Caitlin, did you not understand-"

"JUST STOP OK," I yelled, cutting him off, "JUST LEAVE. I HATE BEING HERE. I HATE THIS VACATION. YOU ARE ALL BEING SO UNFAIR."

Kimberly took a tiny step towards me, her voice was firm, "Listen, we're just doing what we were told!" She said trying to convience me, "Don't get mad at us!"

"BUT MOM AND DAD LET ME GO OUT WITH THEM. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS! YOU GUYS HAVE NEVER CARED OR CARED ABOUT ME BEFORE SO I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD START CARING NOW!" I basically just said what I've been holding in for months now. And in the rudest way possible. 

Their faces were stunned. I'm sure they never even expected something like that to come out of my mouth.

"CAITLIN, IF YOU THINK WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU... YOU COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG." You could tell Kimberly was angry at me for even saying something so mean.

I turned around and opened the door to leave. I didn't come in here for them to yell at me more. I came in here to get away from them.

Before I could even make a step, Kimberly's hand grabbed a tight hold around me and pulled me to a stop.

"WE'RE NOT DONE TALKING!" Kimberly cried.

We were done talking. I was done talking. I need to get out of here.

Without even thinking I ripped my arm as hard as I could out of her grip. She was strong, but I was stronger. And then I did something I never thought I would to. I picked up my hands and landed them on her chest and pushed her backwards, hard. 

Her arms flew up into the air and she lost her balance, and fell backwards onto her back. She landed hard onto the ground.

"Kimberly!" Neil gasped as he rushed to her side to help her back up.

I looked at Reid who was too stunned to do anything. He was looking from Kimberly to me trying to process what exactly happened.

i turned around and ran from the room, down the hall, and out the door. I kept running, I didn't know where I was going exactly, but I wasn't staying here.

I ran down the stairs and out onto the beach, waves were rough crashing hard onto the shore. I ran down the side of the shore, as fast as I could. I kept running until the house was invisible. FInally after running for probably 10 minutes straight I collapsed onto the ground, suddenly incredibly exhausted. 

I don't know how I could let it get to this point. I'm their younger sister, and I couldn't even tell them how I felt?! I couldn't tell them that I needed them. No, instead I had to ignore them and then run out on them. 

That's when I just let it go. I bawled my eyes out. I cried for all the times I didn't. I cried for all the times I felt lost and lonley. For all the times I was resenting them or angry. I cried for all the time lost. For our lost relationship. Or more like our broken relationship.

I couldn't even remember the last time I cried. But it has been too long. I probably cried for an hour striaght, and then eventually fell asleep on the beach. I didn't even care. I was just so exhausted. I needed some space. And I needed to rest.

I woke up to the sound of a bird and the waves crashing. I was on the beach. I opened my eyes and looked around. The sun was just starting to rise. It was probably early in the morning.

I sat up and replayed the memories from last night in my head. 

The fact that I just left last night and my sibligs have no idea where I am, makes me cringe. They are probably worried out of their minds.

I stood up and brushed the sand off my body and then started to make the walk back to our house. I needed to make things right with them. No more running from this, or pretending I don't care. I do care, and I need them to know that. I need them to know I don't compltetly hate their guts. I can only hope they don't hate mine. After what I did to them last night, I wouldn't be surpised if they never talked to me again. 

No matter what they are going to be my siblings. And no matter what they are going to be The Band Perry. I need to learn to deal with that. Because like it or not, this is reality now. It might not always be perfect, or pretty. But it is reality, and they are my family. And I love them. And they need to hear that from me... Just like I needed to hear it from them.