Hardwood

17

"But why?" Rick asked, aghast at the mere thought.

"Rick, you're in a load of trouble," his boss, Mr. Montana said to him. He handed him a flier that said, Wandering Souls, Recovery and Rehabilitation Program. Rick was awfully confused.

"Sir, love needs no rehab!" he shouted.

He pushed back on his chair, gesturing widely. "Why should it be illegal to love, Mr. Montana? Explain to me why you deserve to go home to the love of your life every night but I dont?"

"My wife cheated on me with my brother," Mr. Montana interrupted.

"Oh," Rick paused. "Fertilizer. I'm sorry sir." Mr. Montana waved him off.

"Right, anyway. Just because she's not one of us doesn't mean I can't love her! Does it really matter anyway? A store by any other name would sell the same merchandise!"

"What are you talkin' about Rick?"

"I'M TALKING ABOUT JACKY!" Rick bellowed. "She's gorgeous and funny and kind and smart and she doesn't like to pee when I'm in the room and she likes jokes and cartoons and-"

"Why would you be in the same room with her while she pees?"

A short pause ensued from Rick. "It... doesn't matter. The point is- I should be able to love whomever I want without getting fired over it!"

"If this is some elaborate metaphor for marijuana, son, I'm gonna have to call the cops," was all Mr. Montana said.