Hardwood

30: Epilogue

The church doors swung open and the sound of an organ wafted through the air. Jacky and her dad walked arm in elbow down the aisle, trying not to trip over the nuts and bolts scattered around from the flower girls.

The pews were filled with fellow coworkers, old bosses and managers, few relatives, and their dentist, Mr. Carlyle. He was cool.

Each pew had a hammer dangling from a pink bow at the end of it, courtesy of Natalie and Mark, who stood on either side of the groom.

Rick looked awfully handsome in his suit and tie. He busted out crying the minute he saw Jacky in all her wedding day dress glory. It was cute. If her photographer wasn't capturing any of this, she would refuse to eat his deviled eggs at the next family reunion.

Soon her dad was handing her off, and she was standing next to Rick, and she almost fell asleep listening to the preacher go on and on. But this was going to be the happiest day of her life and dammit she was going to enjoy it.

Soon it came time for their vows. Rick was crying throughout the whole thing, the little pussy, and almost full on sobbed when Jacky began to read her vows.

"Rick, I've loved you since the day you came into my store just to make my life harder. And boy, have you.

"But I guess I can't complain. You're honestly the only thing keeping me sane. You're the peanut butter to my jelly, hammer to my nail, the screw to my driver, the nut to my bolt, the lawn to my mower, the thermonuclear heat particles to my microwave- you get the idea. Anyway, I'll love you in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, till my last breath and then on forever."

Rick was too much of a mess to try to read his vows, so they just moved on with it. Soon they were kissing and everyone was cheering, and Jacky hopped up onto Rick's back as he carried her piggyback style out of the church.

They arrived outside, where the attendees tossed raisins at them (more like pelted them at the couple) because apparently when Rick called Mark telling his to get rice, raisins were the only thing on his mind.

They rushed down the stairs to escape the onslaught and hopped onto their carriage. More specifically, their John Deere riding mower. And then? Well they road into the lawn next door, and mowed their first lawn as a married couple.

And thus, this tale has come to a bittersweet end. I know its going to be hard for you. Wood you mind sharing this if you enjoyed it?

If not, eh, screw you.

THE END