You're an Angel

part six

They canceled the tour. 

No new music, no tweets, nothing.

Tyler didn't said a word to the clique in almost a year.

He missed it at first, until he realized how much more tense he had become. Taking a break was what he needed. More time to clear his head, more time to think and not worry about his next show. 

Josh never said how much he missed it, or how much Tyler was scaring him. He tried to keep quiet about how much touring and making music helped him, because he knew Tyler needed a break, but he was slowly falling apart. And it wasn't just that, Tyler was acting different. He smiled less, but said he was happier. He never sang. He never talked to the fans anymore. He hardly spoke, except when he had to. He said he was getting better, but to Josh, he was getting worse. Josh wouldn't admit it, but he could hear Tyler crying sometimes, and he knew that Tyler needed the music, even if Blurry wasn't there. Blurry wasn't the only problem. 

****

"TYLER, LISTEN TO ME!" Josh yelled. Tyler shook his head. "We need new music, dude, if not for you, then for the fans. If not for you, then for me. Stop being such a selfish jerk," Josh's stomach twisted, instantly regretting the words. Tyler's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, ok. Thanks. I'll do that. Let me just go tell Blurry that, and we'll get some music going, okay?" Josh swallowed. "Tyler, I didn't mean it like that, I just-- it's not just you that struggles, and you're still hurting, and just because Blurryface isn't bothering you now, doesn't mean that the music is what brings him out. We need to release something. Please," No response. Tyler was just sitting there, staring blankly at a wall. "Are you even listening? Tyler? I'm being serious, you're not yourself, I'm not myself.... you're scaring me! And if you're..." Josh took a breath. "If you're not going to try, it's over. I'm leaving the band." Tyler looked up at Josh. "No you won't." Josh clenched his teeth and held back tears. "Watch me."

****

Tyler was lost. He ran into the forest, and he didn't plan on going back. He was lost mentally, he was lost physically, and frankly, he didn't want to be found. He screamed at the sky, willing Blurry to take him on. Nothing. With each yell, Tyler realized, he felt more and more alone.  Alone like the boy who found himself among the same trees so many years ago, alone and lost and so afraid. Alone and afraid and screaming to the sky for something, for anything, to make him feel like himself again, to make him feel like who he was always told he was. Screaming to the sky for a reason to live. And the sky wasn't replying. It never did before, why should it now? Not even Blurryface was there, Tyler was, for the first time in a long, long time, completely alone. Abandoned. He moved further into the trees. The silence was so loud. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he found himself in a clearing. He looked up and yelled, one more time.                                                                                                                                                            "If anyone's out here, this is your chance to stop me! IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!"                                  

nothing. 

no one.

alone.

lost.

"anyone," he pleaded, quieter this time. "anyone. please."